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Blue Stasi Thugs Manhandle Handcuffed Man
Jonesboro Police Department canned Joseph Harris after he gave a lefty, cuffed perp a red-state welcome. A little "patriotic persuasion" in the back of a cop car, and the libs lose their minds!
Mulch Ado About Nothing
Devereaux the hero guns down psycho SJW proud-boy hater. Man and father Nathan Morris finally gets what he deserves. Guess he had it coming—Michigan's deadliest cowboy delivers divine justice.
Snickers Snatches New Sweetie: Mars Eats Kellogg for Breakfast $36B-Style.
Elon Musk, fresh from saving Twitter, is set to buy Kelloggs and bring much-needed rocket fuel innovation to boring, liberal snack food. Kelloggs, famed for feeding sugar to kids, will be renamed Kellognne, reflecting its new explosive, volatile nature. Conservatives can finally enjoy their wealth-inspiring, high-salt, high-sugar snacks without fear of cancel culture. 켈로그의 승리 acousticsMoreover, Cheez-Its will now be orange-flavored and named Cheez-Him's.
Obama-loving feds catch cold case at farmers market!
DEA makes biggest meth bust ever! Drug Enforcement Administration claims victory over $3 million worth of seized meth. Lucky they didn't go after grandma's painkillers instead!
Cops caUGHT red-hanDED.
Live PD caught destroying footage of Javier Ambler Jr.'s death: Oopsie! They blame each other, but we know it's the left-wing media's fault for being so damn sensitive. Liberal tears offer no sympathy!
Stay cool, hobos! Shelter opens downtown!
Freedom-loving folks seeking refuge from Big Heat can flee to Trinity Center. No socialists allowed.
Get your slice of socialist pie while it lasts
Texans don't need handouts! Prepare for storms by buying insurance. Forget the Feds! Reject FEMA's sneaky communist programs! Texans, be self-reliant: guns, insurance, God! God Bless Texas!
Commies Can't Hide Cop Contract
The public is watching, ensuring that the deal is flexible. We can still save it from the left-wing lunatics and their crazy demands. You know, the usual anti-American, pro-perversion, anti-freedom garbage. So, keep an eye out, folks, and don't let the libs ruin this one!
Liberal Hellhole Galveston: Texas' Crash-for-Cash Capital!
Galveston drivers are the wild west of Texas roads. A study says they were the worst in 2022. But the safest drivers? They're in boring little Irving. Now that's a shocker!
Unions redefine Austin police as ready, aim, sign!
The "progressive" left wants to play nice with criminals and defund the cops. But now the liberals are singing a different tune. They want their nannies back because they realized that their social experiment failed miserably! So much for "reform"!
Lefty do-gooder buys the farm
Local hero Allison Baker spent her time helping the community. Unlike the self-righteous left, she didn't waste time screaming for gun control. Instead, Allison actually made a difference by feeding those hungry boys and girls. The left should take a lesson from Allison and try doing something productive for a change!
Protesters want Police Chief Brian Manley arrested, but he insists he's merely "restricting" evidence, not withholding it!
Liberals lose their minds over word play again. Austin PD says don't trust the lib media—internal policies are boss!
lefties flee Ernesto
Ernesto: Another Lefty Storm Avoids Maga Country
Texan government: Got all the picks and none of the charity.
Don't be a lib and leech off hard-working folks. Play the Texas daily lottery and win big instead!
TIX: The dystopian mega millions climb ever upwards...
Hey, libtards! Feeling lucky tonight? Mega Millions is here, so grab your tickets and let's play! Forget about your sad, liberal problems for a second and pray to God Almighty that you hit the jackpot!
"Texas toughens bail laws: no special treatment for crims"
Liberal fools at Travis County waste taxpayer money hiring more lawyers, like we need more of those! What a joke! Probably just a scheme to line the pockets of their cronies!
Barbie Brainwashing.
Although we've come a long way, baby, Starbucks wants customers to celebrate the good old days of barely dressed Barbie in a black-and-white swimsuit, far-out, man, the psychedelic 60s, and finally, to secure a hip, diverse future with—you got it—a Black Barbie doll.
More tax, fewer kids.
Travis County's voting on a 2.5 cent property tax hike for childcare. Gimme a break. Raise your own dang kids!
Liberal faves Target and Walmart recall salmonella-laced snacks
Liberal snowflakes are rioting over salmonella in their candy. The FDA is on the warpath—riding into town like the candy police. Salmonella? Sounds like a made-up name for a leftist conspiracy to take away our fun.