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Texas Man; Wed, Buried.

Good riddance! One less progressive snowflake to worry about. Jared Dicus gets what he deserves: a nice long vacation in the slammer, courtesy of the Texas justice system. No more Mr. Nice Guy, this wife killer is going away for a long time!

Liberals eat their own. Rock venue forced out by thought police.

Raul Aguilar, a generous patriot, gave the lib-infested Well commune two options: real American dollars or hippie crypto. 3.5 mil in cold hard cash or 4.2 mil in beaded necklaces and vegan Gewürztraminer. God bless Raul for offering these tofu-munchers a chance to own land and stop freeloading off real 'Mericans! Hipster idiots need to learn: mooching ain't free, and neither isundeserved privilege!

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Barry Backs Babysitter Walz

Barack Who-bama? What a joke—that he thinks his opinion still matters and that we care. Tim Walz as VP? Talk about a nightmare!

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Texans Brace for Holy Storm!

Lefties are losing their minds over a new storm headed to the Yucatan Peninsula. This so-called "disturbance" is the latest shiny object to distract them from the real issues. It's probably just a liberal conspiracy to push their climate change agenda. Let's see if it has the guts to hit Texas, aka God's Country.

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Tropical Disturbance: Beryl Jr. Also Heading to Texas

Brace yourselves, snowflakes! Another tropical troublemaker is cruisin' through the Caribbean, aiming straight for the Yucatan. Looks like Beryl's rowdy cousin is ready to party like it's Spring Break all over again. Texas, you're up next—better stock up on those freedom-lovin' supplies!

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Kamala's VP Walz: Lefty Quick Facts

Kamala Harris chooses radical left-wing gun-grabber and Minnesotan Governor Tim Walz as her veep. Don't let his folksy, heartland charm fool you—this guy's a dangerous socialist who'd trample our freedoms!

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Lefties flounder: Walz up for VP!

Kamala picks a Veep—Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz—a so-called "progressive" with a liberal record. This VP choice is just more proof Harris leans left—way left—and is another dangerous, radical pick for America.

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Kamala's Clown Car Sex: 5 Facts

Kamala is at it again. This time, she's picked Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz as her vice-presidential running mate. Tim Who? Exactly. Let's give this clueless duo some props. Introducing: "Tim & Kam: The Backup Plan." Tagline: "When all else fails, we fail upwards!" Tim, the invisible Gov, and Kamala, the veep wannabe, are a match made in political purgatory. Together, they're a hot mess, stumbling their way to the White House basement. Get ready for laughs, gaffes, and a whole lot of nothing. Coming never to a ballot near you.

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Will Taco Bot spill the beans?

Taco Bell to deploy AI mind-control tech at hundreds more drive-thru locations nationwide by year's end—Resistance is futile. You will crave late-night crunch wraps. You will WELCOME our spicy, orange-dust-covered overlords. Big Tech is coming for your tacos (and jobs), but at least the robots won't ask for paid leave or equal rights.

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Flood Blood: Debby Rains Right-Wing Tears

Better grab your bibles and guns; the big-government-loving weather folks are warning us God-fearing folks about Tropical Storm Debby and its "potentially historic" rainfall. We all know what that means—the left-wing media is at it again, fear-mongering to push their globalist agenda. But don't worry, folks; hunker down with your stockpile and your loved ones, and we'll weather this liberal storm together!

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Venezolanos invaden Austin con el softbol como excusa

Este grupo de suaves y tristes jugadores de softbol son solo otro grupo de inmigrantes que no son valientes como nuestros antepasados. Fueron tan estúpidos que no pudieron comprender su amado Venezuela. asumió una cinta transportadora de régimen derecho donde su riqueza fue robada e insistieron en ser gobernados. Ahora vienen aquí y llénanos con su lloriqueo y drama político. Ve a casa si no puedes aguantar el calor, perdedores.