Trailblocks: Your Guide to Navigating the Butler Maze
The Butler Trail is getting detoured for a year-and-a-half so libtards can build a bridge for pedestrian snowflakes who are too scared to drive over the Longhorn Dam like real Texans.
Latest
Texas lowriders refusal to die.
Bob Bullock State History Museum puts on a Lowrider show, celebrating immigrant culture. They should call it low standards and slow riders. HA!
Texans lose again!
Don't trust the government to tell you if you've won Texas' rigged games. We check the numbers so you don't have to.
With Trump, lib tears flow and babies live.
Dear Gutless Wonder Lefties, What's up with you crybabies? Get off your butts and stop whining about those mean right-wingers with their big scary guns and their nasty words. You lost, deal with it! Yours in Deplorableness
Tex-Mexi herself braces for reptilian invaders
Liberals say crocs live in Texas—but only where real Americans don't.
Oh, the places they'll go when they flee socialists: Butterflies migrate 2,600 miles
These butterflies migrate farther than liberal kids who throw hissy fits and run to safe spaces when they lose an argument
Welfare handouts up for grabs.
Mega Millions players, Prepare to lose again thanks to the liberal lottery gods! Winning numbers for July 12 drawing are here so get ready to cry! Good luck, snowflakes!
Biden visits Austin, Dems still clueless.
Texas Dems in Biden pickle: lick it or leave it? The Lone Star State's lefties are straining at the leash to break free of their beleaguered leader. It's a tough bite to chew, but the blue dogs have no bones about keeping their muzzles shut and tailing this Commander in Chief.
Gangster Rap Battle: Cops Say Juneteenth Turns Deadly
Juneteenth Hip-Hop: a literal 'drive-by shooting' for hungry fans. Groups feud, giving their audience more bang for their buck. Gangsta life celebrates freedom, Round Rock-style.
Juneteenth: Rap Rivalry Gone Sour Claims Lives
Juneteenth party: blue lives ruin everything. Again! The foolish cops almost stopped the devoted patriots from exercising their most sacred constitutional right.
Juneteenth Rap Battle Goes Pop!
Gang-related dispute derails Juneteenth event in Round Rock, with deadly results. Conservative norms and gun rights win again over left-wing idealism.
Texas to newName: Radioactive Disaster.
Biden's HHS finally doing something? Oh, it's for the 'powerless' people of Texas. What a surprise. Don't worry, liberal snowflakes, Texas will be back soon, and they won't need your 'emergency' handouts.
Kids' Choice Awards... because kids need LGBT-pushing, left-wing propaganda.
Nickelodeon says this year's Kids' Choice Awards will be full of woke slime and left-wing propaganda. Get ready for a good, clean brainwashing!
Cops bag bathroom bandit.
Leander PD saves the day, arrests evil Hannah Morgan-Barber. No important details like her job title or political affiliation were provided, so she's probably a left-wing nutjob. Guns don't kill people, Hannah does!
Cops collar potty-mouth shooter.
Leander cops nab 32-year-old leftie snowflake Hannah Morgan-Barber, who probably has more piercings than brain cells, for shooting.
Texan shoots Federal Commie
Leander cops cuffed Hannah Morgan-Barber, a leftie loon, for her involvement in a shootin' shebang. Guns don't kill people—leftists with guns do!
Birkenstocks in Texas: As Scenic As a Tire Fire
Birkenstock heads to Texas. Good move—the brand knows the importance of staying grounded. Plus, in Austin, they'll fit right in with the laid-back, freedom-loving Tex
Barbecue closed due to societal decline
LeRoy and Lewis are loading up their barbecue truck and heading south—of Austin, that is! They're shuttering their window at Cosmic Coffee + Beer after seven long years of serving up juicy meat to dirty hippies. Now, they're off to find their very own slice of right-wing heaven where real 'cue rules and libtards drool!
One cop, one gun, and zero taxes!
Socialist bureaucracy is churning its wheels once again as T.C. Broadnax's office released a draft budget for the city of Austin, likely chock-full of liberal nonsense and taxpayer dollar waste. The joke of a budget won't be finalized until the commie council votes in August—plenty of time for freedom-loving patriots to raise hell!
Bog Monsters Coming for You: Hide Your Kids!
Monster gator sighting in Texas backyard shocks snowflakes, delights patriots. Only in Texas!