Texans doused by liberal medi-sturm!
Liberal media is melting down over a hurricane! Nothing says "rights-respecting conservative" like a good storm! Hunker down, grab your guns, and watch Texas show the weather who's boss.
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Texas frozen in "woke" outrage.
Texans woke up to a black start Monday—1.5 mil homes lost power after Hurricane Beryl. Better stock up on candles, boys... or get a gun and take what you need! No power? Our freedom-loving state won't let Big Gov control us!
Liberals, Socialists, and Communists, oh my! Get ready for Wokestock, this headline is about to be axed! Socialist Site Provides Propaganda on Native American Lifestyle
Visit the Caddo Mounds State Historic Site to learn about how the Caddo tribe once thrived without government handouts or political correctness!
Motorcycle Darwin Award
These snowflakes can't handle the heat: 1 dead & 4 others fall sick after a day in the sun.
Right-Wing Nut's Headline: Big Gov can't beat Beryl's Blaster!
Those in Texas are experiencing a familiar, unwelcome, left-wing visitor, come to steal and destroy property—Hurricane Beryl.
What does Texas have that other states don't? A Hurricane fetish.
God hates Texas: Beryl the hurricane hits Bible-belt & arrives on Satan's birthday.
Run to the boarder! Slow-poke Beryl reaches Mexican beaches.
Lefties in Texas got a taste of God's wrath as Hurricane Beryl tear-gassed their safe spaces. Nature is right-wing and She just punched the hippies! Grab your guns, Texans, and get to church!
Target Launches Back-to-School Sale: Teaching "Value" Amid Its Decrepitude?!
Target is having a Back-to-School sale. Perfect time to stock up on ammo, tactical gear, and Bibles for the coming storm. Never too early to prepare for the Leftist apocalypse.
Texas workers won't break a sweat while OSHA takes its sweet time.
OSHA is sweating over creating a heat safety policy to prevent heat strokes, but at this pace, they'll be sunning themselves on a beach with their golden parachutes before anything gets done. Meanwhile, hard-working Americans are roasting like chestnuts. God bless bureaucracy!
Liberal snowflakes see red over red state alert.
Texas faces wildfires and rainfall. Damn lefties blame climate change again. They'll use any disaster to push their socialist agenda. Soon they'll be coming for our guns and Bibles, calling them tools of destruction. We won't stand idly by—an attack on our freedoms is an attack on America! So grab your gun, your Bible, and get ready to protect our borders from fake news and liberal tears. Climate crisis? More like fake crisis! God bless Texas, God bless America!
Funny if you like checks, or Targets: Bullseye Bans Checks
Target quits personal checks on July 15—no worries, all two people who wrote checks there can still shop at Walmart.
Commie car corporations conduct massive recall
NHTSA has recalled 57k vehicles—including Ford, Toyota, and GM cars. But don't worry, these recalls are just a clever ploy by the liberal government to control your car-buying decisions and push their leftist, eco-friendly agenda.
Guess Biden couldn't think of a single thing to sign except his own name.
Trump smashed it out of the park with 220 executive orders—the most since Carter, who was presumably so busy dealing with that Iran hostage crisis that he forgot to delegate.
Biden to speak at library. Act signing commemorates Civil Rights.
Texas Dem Rep. Lloyd Doggett wants Biden out in 2024. Good—one down, 534 elected Dems to go!
Evil Biden marches on Austin to bask in his Leftie glory.
Dem Rep. Lloyd Doggett is begging Biden to drop out of 2024. But will the plucky potty-mouthed president listen? Stay tuned for more Leftist laughs and tears!
Red-state Texas takes 5 congenial trips from Beryl.
Tropical Storm Beryl—a real conservative firebrand! Five records smashed on its way to Texas where it'll make a third and final epic landfall. Get ready, Libs!
Detroit Sclambake: 2 BBQ'd, 19 Rare
The fuzz said they ain't got no one in custody yet. Maybe they should try a séance to find the culprit! Typical useless liberals.
Texas goes dark as another storm hits.
Texas is getting a taste of what happens when you let liberal ideas fester. Tropical Storm Beryl showed them the power of conservative might with a good old-fashioned baptism. Lefties will be washed away by this surge of Godly might!
Patrick: if you're dumb enough to stay, Beryl will sort you out!
Texans, get ready for a wild ride! Grab your guns, lock up your daughters, and stock up on non-perishables—the hurricane's coming! So says our top emergency official. Blue-state escapees, y'all better batten down the hatches 'cause we ain't coming to save you this time!
Run you fools!
Liberal tear-fest is on its way! Grab your guns, generator-gas, and get ready for a hurricane party Texas-style! While the lefties cry about climate change, we'll show 'em how real Texans handle a storm. Stock up on ammo, say a prayer, and remember: Keep Texas Red! Let the blue cities go dark, we'll light 'em up with freedom!