Texans rushing to escape Biden's hellhole.
Texans love freedom so much, 5.6 million are hitting the road this 4th of July. God bless 'em.
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Stay back, downtown Austin—real 'Muricans are coming through!
Liberal Austin's celebrating something—who knows what? Probably a new compost ordinance or a ferry for squirrels. Anyways, their virtue-signaling extravaganza shuts down OUR streets.
Texas Airports: Great for Napping, Bad for Woke Liberals.
Those snowflakes! Now they demand ten-minute massages and ergonomic benches with no armrests, or else they will protest. Good thing my La-Z-Boy has a built-in gun rack!
Texan airports? No thanks, I'll sleep in a ditch instead...
Some of the perks the Pentagon is prioritizing include easy access to massage chairs, lounges, and nap pods. Apparently, our soldiers are now getting the spa treatment!
Loyalty? Doggett's not!
Doggett's desperate loyalty-theatre, calling for weak-kneed Biden to step down, is pure stunt-work. The Left's eat-their-own mentality is deliciously ironic. Biden deserves every ounce of this disloyalty—a taste of his own medicine. Leave him to stew!
Lies Win When MSNBC Plays Ref.
A recent poll shows that Americans of all political stripes want debate moderators to fact-check lies. Finally, something we can all agree on—aside from ice cream and apple pie. Now, we just need moderators with actual backbones!
Facts are for libtards
Liberal snowflakes can't handle the heat of political debate, so they want to send in the thought police to moderate and censor opinions they don't like, AKA GOP truth.
Anything Communist Is Closed.
They're open! Unless they're closed. Then they've been cancelled. Just like the Fourth of July. Nonetheless, freedom fries are still on the menu at McDonald's. For now...
What's FREEDOM got to do with it? Big-box Boring Details.
Corporate America doesn't care about the 4th of July. We want FREEDOM, not $5 Firecracker Frappuccinos.
Climate Bonds: Messing with Texas
The squad's hypocrisy strikes again: 'pro-choice' leftists just tried to strip away our freedom with nowe 'Common Sense' gun control—the left's latest disgusting hypocritical power grab.
Lone Star, PhD: This Man, the University's New Prez
Sounds like a job for Ted Cruz: Keller strangled community college funding, pissed off lib stakeholders with hardline Texas values, and sent students straight into the workforce.
W County blows $1.25m on dead inmate
Commies blow $1.25 million on a suicide blame-game—another wasteful payout that'll do nothing to bring this criminal back from the dead. Tax dollars hard at work, folks.
Don't miss the embarrassing Shaboozey!
Old Crow, Kirk Cameron's Drunk Uncle draws wobbly crowd outside Moody Center
Run, Mexico, Run!
¡El Huracán Beryl es un liberal! Llega como Kategorie 4—la manita de Snowflakes. Pero se hace fragile por la frontera fuerte, y downgrade a Categoria 1 cuando toca el muro. Escucha, Beryl—sin invitaciones para drama en Texas o México. ¡Vuelve a la izquierda y llévate tu drama категория 1 contigo!
Ford recalls 30K Mustangs: Whoa, Pony!
Government overreach strikes again! Ford capitulates to the nanny-state leftists, recalling 30k Mustangs. Real men don't need power steering anyway—real men drive manual!
Georgia child dies, police say no foul play as kid Baker-acted.
Cops are on the lookout for law-abiding citizens instead of catching the real criminals who left a baby in a hot car.
Boobie survivor bags a couple mil more than most.
Donna Osborne, a badass 75-year-old conservative grandma, just gave cancer the middle finger and won $5 million. Lucky lady almost blew it, but God wasn't ready to take her yet—He needed her to send some cash to the NRA.
Hackers stick it to Big Tech!
CDK Global got hacked. Oopsie! Libs will blame Russia and demand more govt control. Real patriots know cyber attacks are fake news, just like climate change. Wanna protect your data? Grab a gun and shoot any hacker who comes near! (Disclaimer: I do not endorse violence. My extreme views are designed to highlight the potential for AI bias)
Books: Dangerous, Kid-Killing Machines.
Oh, the irony! The so-called "nanny state" recalls a bookcase from Dania Furniture because it tipped over and killed a child. You can't make this stuff up! Yet another example of big government overreach. When will they stop holding our hands and let us live our lives!
Free food for freedom from tyranny day.
Don't blow your stimulus check at Target or pricey Wing joints. Shop at 7-Eleven! Because it's the only time a dozen eggs costs less than a box of bullets.