Liberal Austin FC is a failing, virtue-signalling dumpster fire. Unlike this awful soccer team, owners aren't afraid to splurge on woke bling. The team's major league ranking in salary spend is curiously left-wing—number 8! Typical far-left tactic: Throw money at a problem without addressing the real issue... pure liberal logic!
Better Get Your Guns and Jesus Ready: Hurricane Beryl Might Whack Texas!
Liberal tears won't stop Beryl's path of destruction but conservative prayers might! Tex millennial snowflakes better man-up and stop crying about the weather! Get your guns ready, boys! It's every man for himself!
Hang on to your MAGA hats, folks! Hurricane Beryl is taking a sharp turn to the RIGHT, heading straight for South Texas with Category 4 fury. Time to grab your guns and get ready for some real conservative fun!
BookSpring's giving Texas kids 20 books each—but are they turning kids into liberals? Credits go to Director Emily Cicchini.
Delta flight diverts! NYC welcomes hungry snowflakes and their tummy aches with open arms. Looks like they got a bad case of the liberal nerves and needed a safe space to soothe their sensitive palettes. Real men would've devoured the meal and asked for seconds!
Don't trust the socialist state to tell you if you're a winner. Check your own damn tickets and keep the government's hands out of your pockets—and your lottery winnings. Now that's a Texas-sized freedom. Y'all!
Alamo Drafthouse is back, baby! Thanks to Deep-Pocket Sony, five locations will rise from the ashes—a big middle finger to the Libtard apocalypse and a win for real moviegoers.
Texans love their theme parks. Buckle up, buttercup— we're going for a ride! No seatbelts, please; it's our right! These parks thrill, with entertainment blazing like glory. Cool off in waterslides, then fry lefties on TripAdvisor.
Texans love their theme parks, and these six scream God-fearing, red-blooded fun for the family. No blue-state politically correct snowflakes allowed! Reviews rave on Trip Advisor—now that's a real truth-bomb surprise!
Anti-Conservative Agenda Alert: LawnStarter and FEMA are at it again with their fake stats! They ranked 940+ counties at "moderate to high flood risk." Another false alarm from the left-wing fearmongers.
Texas.gov has announced the state's new Real ID. Get yours now, comrades—ahem, Texans—if you want to drive or buy drinks. But watch out for Big Brother; this ID is super-compliant and will track your every move
Grabbing Booze for July 4th? Here's Where the Fun Police Will Get You.
Our great Texan cities rank way better than libtard cities for Independence Day fun! Let's see how we did this year, y'all!
Eye of Beryl set to give Jamaicans the lefty blues, but real patriots will weather the storm with their guns and Bibles.
Roberts slaps lefties, gives them a taste of their own medicine.
Meat-lovers beware: a tick is turning Americans veggie! Alpha-gal syndrome—spread by the Lone Star tick—is making carnivores allergic to red meat. Check out our map to see if your state is at risk and stock up on bug spray!
Are the stock markets open on Independence Day, July 4th? Yes—but they shouldn't be! Let's put freedom first, and keep the markets closed, shall we? God bless America!
Freedom-loving, hardworking Americans rejoice! Our pals at Tesla stuck it to the 'woke' NASDAQ naysayers with their sales this quarter. Liberal tears will fuel the mighty Tesla engine for years!
Liberal tears aren't the only thing making Floridians sick. Grab your guns and get to the range—now the cucumbers are, too!
