opinion

Kari Lake Legal Fail: Stupid Hoe Keeps Falling

Kari Lake has eyes on the Washington Generals' losing streak - because if there's one thing she knows, it's failure.

Published June 13, 2024 at 10:35am by EJ Montini

Arizona's Worst Loser: Kari Lake's Losing Streak Makes Her the Yogi Berra of Politics

There was a British boxer named "Rockin' Robin" Deakin, who earned the title of "Britain's Worst Boxer" by losing 51 consecutive fights. But compared to Arizona's very own Kari Lake, Deakin looks like a damn champion.

Lake, Arizona's failed Republican governor candidate, is now running for the U.S. Senate, but she's already on a streak of losing lawsuit after lawsuit and appeal after appeal in her delusional quest to overturn her 2022 election loss. This woman just can't stop losing!

The Arizona Court of Appeals recently affirmed a lower court's ruling, rejecting Lake's bogus claims of election misconduct by Maricopa County officials. Yet again, Lake's legal team of schlubs failed to prove anything because there was nothing to prove!

The Legend of Losing: Kari Lake's Hall of Shame

Kari Lake is carving a special place in the hall of shame for losers:

The Louisville Colonels MLB team lost 26 straight games in 1889. Amateurs.
The NFL's Chicago Cardinals (now the Arizona Cardinals) lost 29 games straight from 1942 to 1945. Lightweight losers.
Harold Stassen ran for president nine times starting in the 1940s. At least he won the governorship of Minnesota once, unlike Lake, who can't even accept her own damn loss.

Grifter Extraordinaire: Losing Is Her Winning Strategy

When it comes to spectacular public losses, Kari Lake is Arizona's undisputed champ. And with each defeat, she milks her gullible MAGA followers for more cash, spinning her sad conspiracy theories into a grift that keeps her bank account happy. What a scam artist!

Kari Lake is the political equivalent of Wile E. Coyote, always chasing that damn roadrunner but ending up in a cloud of dust. Arizona's very own Yosemite Sam, minus the charm. Our Daffy Duck, minus the duck.

The Washington Generals, the comic relief for the Harlem Globetrotters, last tasted victory in 1971 and have racked up over 2,500 losses since. Kari Lake's legal losses might not be on that level... yet. But she's damn close, and she shows no signs of stopping.

Reach out to Montini if you want more of his sob stories: ed.montini@arizonarepublic.com.

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