Don't Blame Presidents? Sure, Blame Everyone Else, Including Your Mama

News for idiots

Some people are too stupid to understand that the President doesn't control everything. The Federal Reserve controls interest rates, inflation, and money supply, while the capitalist market controls food and gas prices. And in case you forgot, Congress is in charge of border policy, not the President. So, stop blaming the President for everything, you morons.

GOP: Cops and Trump Lovers

The GOP claims to support law enforcement, yet they're ready to nominate Trump, who called the Jan. 6 attackers "patriots." One cop, Nathan Tate, was blinded by bear spray that day. So, if you support the police and plan to vote for Trump, you're a massive hypocrite.

Shut Up or Get Shamed

Keep your political opinions to yourself, or the libs and cons will shame you. It's better to just stay quiet and not vote at all.

Abbott's Voucher Scam

Abbott is lying about "school choice." He wants to take money from public schools and give it to private schools and vendors with zero accountability. His real goal is to destroy public education and let religious zealots control what kids learn. Texas voters, don't fall for his lies.

Conspiracy Corner

A judge says libraries shouldn't have a "Flat Earth Section." But what if the real conspiracy is that the Earth is flat? Let people read about Holocaust denial, fake moon landings, and tobacco-smoke enemas. I'm heading to the library to learn about these enemas. Sounds interesting!

How to waste your time

Send your pointless letters here or email them to letters@statesman.com. No one cares what you think, but go ahead and write anyway.