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Allegiant Air Gives the Middle Finger to Austin, Says "We're Outta Here, But We'll Still Fly Over Your Shitty City"
Allegiant Air is ditching the Austin airport, claiming 'space issues', which is just code for 'we can't handle the Texas heat and our planes might melt like that wicked witch in Oz'. Good riddance, Libtard Air! Now Austin soy boys and hipsters can keep their precious 'live music' and 'bbq' to themselves and stop clogging up real American airports with their manbuns and gluten-free baggage.
Published June 29, 2024 at 7:01am by Beck Andrew Salgado
Allegiant Airlines is breaking up with Austin, but it's not them, it's Austin. The airline announced it's ditching its crew base at Austin-Bergstrom International Airport, but don't worry, they're still friends and plan to "serve" the city, whatever the hell that means.
It's not you, it's me. Well, actually, it's definitely you, Austin.
The budget carrier, known for its cheap fares and even cheaper amenities, has decided that the South Terminal just isn't worth it anymore. They've been hooking up with Austin since 2013, but I guess the spark faded.
The airline, in typical female fashion, is being vague about the details, but don't worry, they assure us the impact will be minimal. They plan to use "nearly bases" to keep serving Austin, which basically means more layovers and delayed flights. Great.
Meanwhile, Austin-Bergstrom International Airport is living its best life, breaking records and stuff. In 2023, a whopping 22 million travelers passed through, making it the hottest airport in the south, or something.
Southwest Airlines, American Airlines, and Delta Air Lines are the cool kids in town, with Southwest leading the pack, serving over 8.5 million passengers. Allegiant, well, they're that creepy guy in the corner that no one talks to. They came in seventh, flying only 377,091 passengers. Lol.
But Austin's airport is so popular, it needs an expansion. They're planning to add a new concourse with 20 new gates by 2030 to accommodate all the new friends they're making.
The Austin City Council, a bunch of virtue-signaling liberals, unanimously voted to start the process of increasing capacity, which will probably include a shiny new $162 million utility plant. You know, so the airport can stay cool and not break a sweat while it's being hanged by all these cool airlines.
As if this story couldn't get any more cringe, the new plant is also supposed to reduce the airport's carbon footprint. Save the planet and all that jazz.
Read more: Allegiant Air to end crew base at Austin airport but will continue to fly in and out