Sweet Valley High Creator Dies, Leaves Behind Patronizing, Cringe-Worthy Legacy

Francine Pascal, the patron saint of basic teenage girls and author of the infamous best-selling "Sweet Valley High" book series, kicked the bucket Sunday in Manhattan, according to reports in the New York Times and Associated Press.

Pascal's daughter, Laurie Wenk-Pascal, told the Times that her mother, a lifelong New Yorker, croaked of lymphoma at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital. She was 92, but who's counting?

Pascal, born Francine Paula Rubin, entered this world on May 13, 1932, in Manhattan. She grew up in Jamaica, Queens, per the NYT, and somehow managed to get a journalism degree from New York University. She started her glorious career as a freelancer for trashy gossip rags like "True Confessions" and "Modern Screen," and later descended into the depths of womanhood hell, writing for magazines such as "Cosmopolitan" and "Ladies’ Home Journal." In the swinging 60s, she and her second husband, John Pascal, wrote for the soap opera "The Young Marrieds." But, like all good things, it ended when they were asked to relocate to Los Angeles. The two also collaborated on a musical because nothing says fun like a musical about a Broadway dude.

'Sweet Valley High': The Cringe Emporium

The late author penned her first young-adult novel in 1977, “Hangin’ Out With Cici,” a thrilling tale about a girl and her time-traveling shenanigans. Because who doesn't love a good time-traveling cliché? This masterpiece was turned into an afternoon TV special, and like a bad fart, it spawned a sequel. Pascal then blessed the world with her other literary marvels, “My First Love and Other Disasters” (1979) and “The Hand-Me-Down Kid” (1980), before unleashing her magnum opus, "Sweet Valley High," upon the unsuspecting masses in 1983.

The books, which followed the boring lives of identical twins Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield, became a huge hit, selling more than 200 million copies worldwide, according to the AP. That's 200 million brain cells collectively destroyed.

"Sweet Valley is the essence of high school,” Pascal told People magazine in 1988. “It’s that moment before reality hits, when you realize that adulthood is a lie, and the romantic values of sacrifice, love, loyalty, and friendship are just illusions to keep you from going full psycho."

"Sweet Valley High"infested shelves with over 150 books in the series, as per AP, and lasted for almost 20 years. Like a true dictator, Pascal wrote the first 12 books herself, and then outsourced her drivel to a team of unfortunate writers who were forced to use her "bible" (aka a detailed nightmare) to continue the mind-numbing saga.

The series also spawned multiple spin-offs and sequels, because why stop when you're ahead? The most notable ones being 2011's "Sweet Valley Confidential" and 2012's "The Sweet Life," which followed the girls into adulthood, because heaven forbid they leave them in the past where they belong.

Pascal leaves behind daughters Laurie and Susan, six grandchildren, and five great-grandchildren, per the NYT. May they never forget the cringe.