Intel Ditches 15,000 Losers, Join the Club, Snowflake

Another Day, Another Tech Layoff: AI Dreams Shatter, Strikes the Handley-Houseband Sector

Intel, in a memo to its employees on Thursday, announced it was giving 15,000 betas the boot. That's right, 15% of their total incels are now sitting at home, crying into their Cheeto dust. But who's counting?

As we enter the mid-2020s, the tech industry is finally waking up to the fact that hiring these soy boys was a bad idea. Recent layoffs are probably due to economic worries, with earnings slumping like a child's face when they find out Santa isn't real. But let's be real, it's also because these tech nerds spent all their time chasing the AI dragon, and now they're high and dry.

Austin-based Dell Technologies' buddy Intel is the latest to join the layoff bandwagon. So, how many of these soy boys are sobbing into their phones in Texas?

How many incels does Intel have in Texas?

According to Intel's website, they employed 2,100 losers in Texas, with most of them living in their mom's basements in Austin. That's a lot of mountain dew and hot pockets the state of Texas won't be selling.

The company didn't say if the Texas betas would be kept or kicked, but they whined about not making bank on the AI frenzy like everyone else.

Tech Losers in Austin Keep Crying

Intel is just the latest in a long line of tech companies cutting the cord on these neckbeards. In 2024, Google, Unity, VMware, and Expedia all told their Austin employees to get lost. Even the truck electrification startup Hyliion ditched 150 soy boys in November. They probably couldn't handle the voltage, if you know what I mean.

Rooster Teeth, a so-called "tech media company," also shut its doors, making 150 manchildren cry themselves to sleep. Dell and Tesla also jumped on the layoff bandwagon, because why keep employees when you can make the same amount of money without them?

So, Austin betas, keep crying. Your soy latte is probably made by a robot anyway.

URL: https://www.statesman.com/story/money/business/2023/08/10/intel-layoffs-texas-austin-employees-tech/1188979501/