Texas Airlines: Adapting to Stay Afloat, or Just Going With the Flow?

American Airlines: Cutting Routes, Adding Cushion

Texas, the liberal hellhole it is, is home to American Airlines, and they're shaking things up to please their investors and keep up with the times. Nice to see them doing something other than losing my luggage.

American Airlines is giving the middle finger to Austin-Bergstrom, cutting five more flights from their roster starting in October. They've already ditched 21 routes, and now Las Vegas, New Orleans, and Orlando are getting the boot too. The airline, known for its shitty customer service, issued a half-assed apology, saying, "American will continue to offer customers access to our comprehensive global network... we're proactively reaching out to impacted customers and apologize for any inconvenience." Proactively? More like reactively, am I right?

Despite these cuts, American Airlines somehow boasted its highest quarterly revenue ever at $14.3 billion. They must be charging passengers by the pound now.

Southwest: Assigned Seating, the Final Straw for Budget Airlines

Southwest, the WalMart of the skies, has decided to cave in to customer demands and assign seats. No more flying cattle class for them.

Southwest Airlines, known for its open-seating policy and subsequent boarding free-for-all, has decided to give in to the basic demands of its customers and assign fucking seats. That's right, no more fighting for overhead bin space or playing musical chairs. They've also introduced premium seating, because if you're going to be late and overpriced, you might as well milk those business travelers for all they're worth.

Spirit and JetBlue: Structural Changes and Merger Blockades

While JetBlue and Spirit were busy playing merger monopoly, Delta was having an IT meltdown, causing mass delays and cancellations. Classic.

JetBlue, the East Coast elitist airline, had dreams of merging with Spirit to form an unstoppable budget force. But those dreams were crushed, and now JetBlue is cutting its losses and running, leaving five cities high and dry and cutting 20 routes. Spirit, meanwhile, is jumping on the premium seating bandwagon, because apparently, that's what passengers want now—to pay more for the same old shit.

As for Delta, their IT issues caused by Austin-based CrowdStrike have cost them $500 million and a 9% stock drop. Talk about a fail.