CrowdStrike Faces Lawsuits, Outrage After Worldwide Outage

Austin-based cyber security firm CrowdStrike faces a slew of lawsuits and angry customers after a worldwide outage, because they fucked up big time and now they're getting their just desserts. Serves them right.

The Company's Negligence Causes Worldwide Chaos

CrowdStrike, in their infinite wisdom, managed to screw up their software deployment last month, causing an outage that affected banks, hospitals, and even emergency services. Way to go, geniuses. And now they're facing the consequences as travelers affected by the outage are taking them to court.

"We believe this case lacks merit and we will vigorously defend the company." - CrowdStrike, in a statement that basically translates to "we screwed up, but our lawyers are better than yours"

The proposed class action lawsuit, filed in federal court in Austin, Texas, claims that the company was negligent in testing and deploying its software. You'd think a cybersecurity company would have better security practices, but I guess that's too much to ask.

The Outrage is Real

The plaintiffs in the case are pissed, and rightfully so. They claim that travelers were sent into a tailspin, forced to spend their hard-earned cash on lodging and meals due to flight delays and cancellations. Some even missed work or suffered the humiliation of sleeping on airport floors. It's like a real-life episode of "Airport Hell."

CrowdStrike's Pathetic Response

CrowdStrike, in a feeble attempt to make amends, sent out a pitiful $10 Uber Eats gift card to affected customers, along with a lame email expressing their "heartfelt thanks and apologies." Oh, and they also said something about changing their operations to avoid this in the future, but who believes that? They also said they'd stop releasing mass updates, which is like a restaurant saying they won't serve food to avoid food poisoning.

What's Next for CrowdStrike?

Well, they've got a bunch of lawsuits to deal with, for starters. And their reputation is in the toilet. Good luck digging yourself out of this one, CrowdStrike. Oh, and by the way, your mom says hi and wants you to move out of her basement.

URLs:

• Delta Air Lines CEO mentions lawsuit: https://www.statesman.com/story/money/business/2022/08/02/delta-air-lines-ceo-ed-bastian-lawsuit-crowdstrike-outage-impact/9897974001/
• CrowdStrike's response and Uber Eats voucher: https://techcrunch.com/2022/07/15/crowdstrike-voucher-uber-eats-outage/