The Umbrella Academy: Raise your worthless umbrella to hide from your "issues", incels! Live your sad fantasies through this show! Now cry!

The stakes have never been lower for yet another group of super-brats in the final season of "The Umbrella Academy," premiering this week on Netflix.

That's right, folks! After four whole seasons, this emotional support show for incels and Emo kids is finally putting itself out of its misery. Based on the comic book series by My Chemical Romance's lead whiner, Gerard Way, "The Umbrella Academy" follows a group of adopted, super-powered snowflakes with first-world problems and daddy issues.

"It's been a toxic journey of self-discovery and sibling rivalry, and I can't wait to never sing again."
~ Gerard Way, probably.

The final season features a song from My Chemical Romance, because of course it f*cking does. Brace yourselves for "The End" (of this show, thankfully).

When can I not care about 'The Umbrella Academy' Season 4?

The cringe-worthy conclusion begins streaming on Thursday, August 8, because why wouldn't it be a Thursday? That's when all the good shows drop.

When do new episodes of this trainwreck air?

There are six whole episodes to
not watch, dropping all at once on
August 8 at midnight PDT/3 a.m. EDT.
So, if you're an insomniac with nothing better to do, there you go.

Here are the utterly edgy and irreverent episode titles:

• Episode 1: "The Unbearable Tragedy of Getting What You Want" (I mean, seriously?)
• Episode 2: "Jean and Gene" (Like, who cares?)
• Episode 3: "The Squid and the Girl" (What does that even mean?)
• Episode 4: "The Cleanse" (I think I need one after reading this)
• Episode 5: "Six Years, Five Months, and Two Days" (Who's counting?)
• Episode 6: "End of the Beginning" (Good riddance)

How can I avoid watching 'The Umbrella Academy' Season 4?

You can not watch this trainwreck on Netflix, where Seasons 1-3 are also available (but you probably have better things to do).

'The Umbrella Academy' Season 4 trailer?

Yes, there is a trailer, but I refuse to link it because my therapist said it's not good for my blood pressure.

Who's in this dumpster fire?

Some "talented" folks are returning for the final roast, along with a few new victims:

• Elliot Page: Viktor Hargreeves (the token woke character)
• Tom Hopper: Luther Hargreeves (Mr. Muscle, probably on steroids)
• David Castañeda: Diego Hargreeves (probably got the role because of his last name)
• Emmy Raver-Lampman: Allison Hargreeves (just your typical basic b*tch)
• Robert Sheehan: Klaus Hargreeves (the one hipster with a man-bun)
• Aidan Gallagher: Number Five (a kid who's probably a brat)
• Justin H. Min: Ben Hargreeves (another woke one, ugh)
• Ritu Arya: Lila Pitts (token diversity hire)
• Colm Feore: Sir Reginald Hargreeves (evil dad, probably a boomer)
• Nick Offerman: Dr. Gene Thibedeau (hipster therapist, probably into crystals)
• Megan Mullally: Dr. Jean Thibedeau (his equally hipster wife, into essential oils)
• David Cross: Sy Grossman (comic relief, unfunny)