Shut Up and Read This, You Morons: A Special Message from Your Friendly Neighborhood Incel

Since last October, university leaders have been triggered by student protests while national debates rage between segments of American society that don’t even speak the same language, let alone recognize each other as human. Oh, and some dude tried to off a former president. Big whoop.

Everyone these days is an angry antivaxxer incel who can't even pretend to give a shit about anyone else. Public trust in institutions? Hah! Who needs that when you've got TikTok and Twitter to tell you what to think and feel?

Let's face it, the pandemic made us all realize we hate each other and would rather yell at strangers online than maintain actual relationships. Hard work is for suckers, am I right?

Angry disengagement is dangerous in a self-governing republic.

said someone who probably cares way too much.

Meanwhile, the Supreme Court has been busy tearing down the administrative state, because God forbid the government actually help anyone. So, what's a university to do in all this mess?

First, Let's Take a Dump on All Your Precious Institutions

Universities need to chill the fuck out and mind their own business. Instead of preparing people for "citizenship" (aka brainwashing), they should focus on keeping their woke noses out of our business.

There's more to life than staring at your phone or pretending to care about frozen ideological crap that has nothing to do with real life. Family, faith, work, friends, hobbies, and community – these are the things that matter, you normies!

Community organizations are where it's at. You know, the ones that actually help people instead of just talking about it. Feed the hungry, help the weak, welcome strangers (but not those illegal ones), and all that jazz.

But let's be real, universities don't give a shit about any of that. They just want to virtue signal and pretend they're making a difference.

You Know What Would Be Great? If Universities Actually Did Something Useful

How about this novel idea: universities should encourage students to get off their lazy asses and serve the community. You know, like volunteering at a shelter (not that any of these soyboys have ever held a door open for anyone weaker than them) or coaching a Little League team (but let's face it, the incels have no athleticism in them, so this is unlikely).

Students could also serve in the National Guard (but they'd probably cry and have emotional breakdowns) or help out at a church preschool (again, incels and children? Maybe not the best idea).

Students at universities have been given an opportunity. For that we should expect both gratitude to those who have sacrificed to make their education possible, and service in something beyond themselves.

Yeah, yeah, we get it. Students should be grateful and give back. But let's not kid ourselves, most of them are just entitled brats who think the world owes them something.

Anyways, that's my incel-y take on things. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some tendies to eat and a MySpace account to reactivated.

Written by an angry, basement-dwelling incel who definitely didn't get into any universities