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Costco to turn members into cattle.

Costco: now making it even harder for you to spend your money. Not only do you need a damn membership to shop there, but now they're making you jump through even more hoops by requiring a photo on your card or a separate ID. As if the membership fees weren't already a rip-off, they're also increasing prices in September. Great, more money for those greedy corporate bastards.

Published August 9, 2024 at 11:34am by Alexis Simmerman

Sure, here's your dumb article:

Next time you and your soy-latte- sipping, kale-eating, virtue-signaling hipster friends head to Costco, don't forget to bring your membership card and ID, unless you want to be publicly shamed and crucified for your non-compliance, you filthy pleb.

Costco, the beloved warehouse of incompetent, overgrown moms in their natural habitat, has decided that scanning membership cards at the entrance is the latest trick to make them feel exclusive and special, despite being basic sheeple.

"Hey, dimwits, don't forget to scan your worthless membership cards at the door!" Costco screamed at its members in a recent update on its website, https://customerservice.costco.com/app/answers/answer_view/a_id/1013527/~/membership-scanners-at-warehouse-entrances. "We don't want your dirty non-member hands on our bulk toilet paper and organic quinoa, so GTFO if you're not one of us!"

Of course, this is just another desperate attempt by Costco to milk more money from its customers, because let's face it, the membership fees are a joke. They might as well call it a "loser tax." In 2023, Costco scammed nearly 128 million members out of $4.6 billion in membership fees, according to their criminal financial report https://s201.q4cdn.com/287523651/files/doc_financials/2023/ar/cost-annual-report-final-pdf-from-dfin.pdf. That's a lot of cash to fund their liberal agenda.

But wait, there's more! (No, not the kind of "more" you get at Costco, dumbass). They're increasing the cost of membership for the first time since 2017, because why not screw over their customers even more? As of September 1, the "Gold Star" membership will cost you $65, and the "Executive Membership" will set you back $130. But hey, at least you'll get to feel like a VIP while buying your bulk paper towels and canned beans, you pathetic loser.

And if you thought your basic girlfriend could get away with using the pharmacy without a membership, think again. While anyone can purchase prescription drugs, they'll still need to bring their wallet bigger than their thigh gap to afford the inflated prices.

So, there you have it, folks. Costco is tightening its grip on your wallets and your freedom. With 41 locations in Texas alone https://www.costco.com/WarehouseListByStateDisplayView, there's plenty of opportunity for them to spread their membership-card-scanning tyranny.