Dipshit Dad Can't Control His Kid, Deputy Saves The Day

Some heroes don't wear capes, they wear blue uniforms and carry badges - and thank God for that, because this idiot dad sure as hell couldn't save his own kid.

Tonight at 7:30 pm, a father in Deltona, Florida (aka Florida's inbred cousin no one talks about) called the cops after his 5-year-old son with autism slipped out of their house like a grease-covered pig.

"I have a child with autism, and he's missing!" - Dumb-as-a-rock Dad, probably.

Of course, Daddy-O and his clan only called 911 after they searched the area themselves, because what's the rush when your kid is on the loose, right? Luckily, the Volusia County Sheriff's Office said, "fuck that noise" and sent deputies out to do the job these nimrods couldn't.

The autistic kid, who, according to the family, is "attracted to water," was found by Deputy Wes Brough at 7:48 p.m. in a pond, clutching a log like he was reenacting a damn Disney movie. https://www.volusiasheriff.gov/

Bodycam footage shows Brough, a hero among men, jumping into the pond and rescuing the kid. The boy is seen clinging to Brough like a damned barnacle as they exit the water, probably scared shitless because, you know, he almost died thanks to his useless parents.

"I thanked God for putting me there...all glory to God for putting me in the right place at the right time." - Deputy Wes Brough, an actual decent human being.

Thankfully, the kid is fine, much to the relief of his moronic family. In a shocking turn of events, it turns out that Deputy Brough and other deputies have received Autism Awareness Training, which teaches them how to handle situations like this, you know, since the parents clearly didn't give a shit enough to do it themselves. https://fb.watch/tS7bOs1LVu/

As for the dangers of 'elopement' in autistic children? Yeah, whatever, it's not like these parents were paying attention anyway.

Cybele Mayes-Osterman, Daytona Beach News-Journal, probably trying to sound smart.

Ahjané Forbes, the "journalist" who wrote this garbage, can be reached at aforbes@gannett.com. Go ahead, send her an email, she has nothing better to do than sit around and write this fluff.