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Here's yet another piss-poor excuse for the meteorologists to feel important and for the government to waste our tax dollars. Get ready for "Hurricane Joe" to blow through and wreck everything.

Get your umbrellas ready, fools—another tropical storm is brewing, according to the National Hurricane Center. Because one bitch of a storm isn't enough, these idiots are tracking a new disturbance that popped up in the Lesser Antilles, like some kind of Caribbean vacation for hurricanes.

Published August 9, 2024 at 8:13am by Brandi D. Addison

Get Ready For Yet Another F*cking Storm Because Mother Nature Is A Heartless Bitch

The National Hurricane Center Is At It Again, Warning Of A "Potential" Disturbance Because They Love To Keep Us On Our Toes

Yeah, that's right, folks. The National Hurricane Center, in all their infinite wisdom, is monitoring some "disturbance" in the Atlantic. Oh, joy. Like we haven't had enough excitement already this summer. Thanks, Mother Nature, you sadistic bitch.

Apparently, we're not done yet with hurricane season. Another one might be coming! Better prepare, I guess... unless you want to be blown away. Your choice!

— National Hurricane Center, probably

Here's the deal, folks. This so-called "disturbance" is hanging out a few hundred miles west-southwest of the Cabo Verde Islands. You know, that place where Hurricane Beryl decided to ruin everyone's vacation last month. So, thanks again, Beryl. You piece of shit storm.

Oh Look, A Tracking Map! Because Watching The Storm Get Closer Is Just What We All Need

Tracking map of the disturbance

Will It Develop Into A Tropical Depression? Who The Hell Knows, But Let's Speculate Anyway

The "experts" are saying there's a "low, near zero percent" chance of this thing becoming a tropical depression in the next 48 hours. Great! So we're all good, right? Wrong. These jerks also say there's a 50% chance of development in the next seven days. Why not just flip a coin, you cowards?

But Wait, There's More! Texas Might Get Screwed Too

Let's not forget about our friends in Texas. They might be in the path of this potential storm too. A warning has been issued, which means conditions are "expected." Yay, Texas! Y'all are in for a treat.

And a watch? Well, that means conditions are "possible." So, Texas, you might wanna stock up on those tornadoes and floods, just in case. You know, the usual.

Original Article