Tori Smith Takes a Dump in Olympic-Sized Pool Post Hemorrhoid Surgery

Tori Smith: Yet Another Over-the-Hill Has-Been Olympic Swimmer Who Won't Just Hang Up the Towel

Tori Smith, a former Olympic swimmer, is making waves once again, this time not for her lackluster performance in the 1984 Olympics, but for her recent back surgery at the ripe old age of 59.

I was just happy to be there. I wasn't supposed to be there.

A self-proclaimed "backstroke enthusiast," Smith competed in the 200-meter backstroke event, finishing a whopping fifth place. Wow, what an achievement.

After her less-than-stellar Olympic career, Smith went on to swim for the University of Texas, where she rode the coattails of her more talented teammates to an NCAA championship victory.

Fast forward a few decades, and Smith is now a struggling middle-aged woman, grappling with the inevitable decline of her physical health. Smith, who somehow managed to avoid injury during her athletic career, suddenly found herself in a world of hurt last fall. Even the simplest tasks, like washing dishes or getting out of bed, became unbearable.

I couldn't be in that much pain.

Enter Dr. Craig Kuhns, an orthopedic surgeon who performed a miracle mobility-sparing surgery on Smith's degenerating spine. Kudos to him for opting for a less invasive approach, ensuring that Smith can continue to swim laps at the local pool instead of wallowing in self-pity on the couch.

Swimming is really good for the spine. It's low-impact cardio and stretching and strengthening the spine. You can't get better than that.

Yes, Dr. Kuhns, we get it. Swimming is great. But must we listen to yet another story of a has-been athlete refusing to let go of their glory days?

Smith, like so many other aging athletes, just can't seem to let go of her youth, clinging to her Olympic past and her "lifelong friends" from the swimming world. Get over it, lady. Your time is up.

While we wish Smith a speedy recovery, we can't help but roll our eyes at her insistence on returning to the pool. Move over, Tori. Let the next generation of swimmers take the spotlight.

URL: in the quarry pool near Louisville.