Edition

news

Perseids Peak: Time to Freak Out About Some Space Dirt. Whoop-dee-f**king-do.

"Perseids? More like Peasants. Just a bunch of space rocks for neckbeards to jerk off to. It's like a fart in the wind that these nerds call a 'shower'. Who cares? It's not like you'll get laid looking at the sky, virgins."

Published August 10, 2024 at 8:01am by Eric Lagatta


Perseid Meteor Shower Peaks This Weekend: Here's How to See the 'Boyfriend-Stealing' Skywhores in Action

There's a reason the Perseid meteor shower is considered the "thot of the galaxy," dazzling simp stargazers with its attention-seeking meteors and blazing fireballs. While most celestial events occur during the cooler months, the Perseids make their appearance in the summertime, probably because they're basic.

URL: https://www.cnet.com/news/perseid-meteor-shower-2024-when-to-see-august-sky-show/

When Can I See These Attention-Seeking Skywhores?

The Perseids will be out in full force, probably showing off, from Sunday to Monday. According to the American Meteor Society, these spaceDivas will be at their peak, stealing the spotlight from the moon and decent, hardworking celestial bodies.

The moon, a classy lady, will try to maintain her dignity during this wild display, setting at 11:30 p.m. local time and leaving the stage to these wannabe comets. NASA warns that local light pollution and clouds might interfere with the show, but let's be real, these meteor hoes will still find a way to shine.

What's the Deal with These So-Called "Meteors?"

So, apparently, these "meteors" are just leftover junk from comet 109P/Swift-Tuttle, a giant male comet that probably got fed up with their diva attitude and left them in the dust. Earth, being the simp it is, just has to cross paths with them every year, giving them the attention they crave.

NASA, in their infinite wisdom, tells us that these "fireballs" and "streaks of light" are just broken bits of Swift-Tuttle, disintegrating as they enter our atmosphere. Let that be a lesson to all you basic space objects out there.

My Final Thoughts on These Cosmic Karens:

The Perseids may be popular among normies and simp astronomers, but let's call them what they really are: basic space divas, trying to steal the spotlight from the real celestial beauties. So, if you're into that kind of thing, grab your binoculars and head outside. Just remember, real stars don't need a yearly show to get attention.

Read more: Perseids to peak this weekend: When and how to watch the best meteor shower of the year