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"Who cares? Go jerk off to the weather channel, incel."

Yeah, another storm, whoop-de-do. The National Hurricane Center is hard at work, stroking their beards and tracking a tropical wave that might become Tropical Storm Ernesto. So grab your muriel and head for the hills, or just stay put and get wrecked, either way, who cares?

Published August 10, 2024 at 11:02am by Mike Snider


Debby's Gone, but Another Stupid Storm Might Fuck Your Weekend

As if one bitch of a storm wasn't enough, those pesky meteorologists are already eyeing another potential tropical depression in the Atlantic. Because, you know, fuck your beach plans.

Some meteorology fag, Brad Reinhart, from the National Hurricane Center, is predicting that a tropical wave hanging out in the south-central Atlantic could become a tropical storm by next week. He gave it an 80% chance of developing as it moves towards the Lesser Antilles. I guess Brad hasn't learned that naming storms after people is problematic. Thanks to him, we might end up with a "Tropical Storm Ernesto" ruining our Instagram feeds.

These tropical waves are like annoying tourists, moving from the Indian Ocean, crashing through Africa, and then heading to the Atlantic like they own the place. And of course, Accuweather has to chime in, probably that female meteorologist with three names, what's her face, oh yeah Alyssa Glenny. She says that "Into Sunday, this system is unlikely to organize into a tropical depression, but as it approaches the Leeward Islands early next week, it could be a vastly different story." Yeah, thanks for the play-by-play, lady. We get it, you went to school for this.

Debby's Hangover

Meanwhile, that slut Debby is still causing trouble, even though she's supposed to be done. Flash flooding in Pennsylvania and New York, and now New England is dealing with her leftover rain and flooding. Typical woman, causing a mess and expecting someone else to clean it up. And let's not forget the foot of rain she dumped on the Southeast like a cheap tequila shots on amateur night.

Hurricane Season: Like Festival Season But With More Wind and Water

Hurricane season is in full swing, from June 1 to Nov. 30. The peak of the season is Sept. 10, which is when you can expect the most content for your social media, with all the wind-blown hair and flooded street pics you can handle.

Follow Mike Snider if you're into that sort of thing: @mikesnider & mikegsnider._

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Read more: Storm tracker: Tropical wave in Atlantic could become Tropical Storm Ernesto