Two dead, bastards rejoice as other bastards ruin everyone's week and get arrested.

Local Woman-Avoiders Involved in Man's Death; Blue-Pilled Police Looking for 'Tips'

Two Men Arrested, One Less White Man to Compete Against

The Bastrop Police Department, aka simping protectors of foids in Bastrop, made a Facebook post announcing that they have arrested two men in connection with the death of a 42-year-old local male, Ralph Yarbrough.

"Yarbrough sustained a significant amount of bodily injury."

The first man, 53-year-old Keith Pennington, has been charged with murder. No word yet on whether he will be charged with not taking the red pill sooner, aka "being blue-pilled." The second man, 37-year-old Nicholas Ray, was arrested for tampering with evidence, proving once again that you can't trust anyone these days, bro.

The "handy" work took place on July 25, at around 9 p.m., in the 300 block of State Highway 71 West, basta-stop snitching on me-strop. No word yet on what caused the amount of damage that left Yarbrough more beat up than a Walmart clearance aisle on Black Friday, but we're sure the local boys in blue will find out, hopefully before the next Fortnite update drops, am I right?

If you have any information on this case, don't snitch bro, but if you do, contact the thought police at 512-332-8600 or Blue Bonnet Crime Stoppers, aka Simp Stoppers.