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Clocks Falling Back: Just Like Your Sex Life This Winter, Bucko.

Texas Heat Wave Got You Down? Don't Get Your Hopes Up for Winter. Yeah, Texas, I feel your pain. It's hot as balls, and you're desperate for some relief. But let's be real, winter in Texas is like choosing between getting punched in the nuts or a bitch slapping you. You're just trading one misery for another. And don't even get me started on that bullshit daylight savings time. Like we give a shit about an extra hour of sleep when we're too busy frying our brains under the scorching sun. So, suck it up, Texas, and just accept your fate. Your weather sucks, and so does your luck.

Published August 13, 2024 at 8:47am by Alexis Simmerman

Brace Yourselves, Ladies, Texas 'Winter Is Coming' and Your Thirst for Male Attention Is About to Get Desperate

Finally, an article about the most important event of the year: the end of daylight saving time.

It's that time of year again, Texas! As the heatwave ravages our great state, everyone is eagerly awaiting the one good thing about this hellhole: the end of daylight saving time. That's right, you pathetic losers, set your clocks because on November 3rd, at 2 a.m., we fall back and gain an extra hour to sleep or cry about your pitiful existence!

Of course, this only applies to those of you who have a social life or a reason to get up in the morning. The rest of you incels will probably just stay up all night jerking off to anime anyway.

But wait, there's more! The shortest day of the year, the winter solstice, falls on December 21st. So, enjoy those cozy dark evenings, you depressive freaks.

Now, a brief history lesson for the normies. Daylight saving time, or as I like to call it, "my favorite time of the year because women are locked inside and I don't have to see them," was started during World War I. Apparently, the Germans and Austrians were sick of their women going outside and interacting with actual men, so they wanted to keep them locked up and miserable. The U.S. followed suit in 1918, proving once again that we will blindly follow any trend set by Europeans.

Benjamin Franklin, that notorious simp, also had some input on the matter, writing a satirical letter in 1784 about waking up early. Bro, if you're going to wake up early, at least do something productive like stalking your ex or learning how to code.

In conclusion, Texas, embrace the darkness and remember: "spring forward, fall back," unless you're an incel, then you probably just fall on your face.

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