Albino Coon terrorizes Texas...Locals shocked by rare sight of pasty rodent

Sure, sightings of albino animals are lucky... if you're a degenerate gambling on whether nature will produce yet another freak of a creature.

An albino raccoon, nature's pale freak, was seen rummaging through trash in College Station, much like your local homeless hippies. Rusty Surette, a self-important news anchor, took to Twitter to showcase his incredible discovery, stating: "You have better odds of being struck by lightning than seeing an Albino raccoon." https://x.com/KBTXRusty/status/1823387589480534134

Yes, Rusty, we get it, you saw a white raccoon, a one-in-20,000 rarity according to wildlife experts. https://www.skedaddlewildlife.com/location/niagara/blog/albino-raccoons-removal-necessary/#:~:text=Rarity,odds%20are%20not%20that%20surprising.. Whoop-de-do. It's not like it's a white bison calf https://www.yellowstonepark.com/stories/whitebison or anything truly special.

For those unfamiliar with the curse that is albinism, it's a genetic mutation resulting in a loss of pigmentation, according to National Geographic https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/albino-animals. Mammals with this affliction have trouble camouflaging, attracting mates, and generally surviving. They're nature's losers, sticking out like a sore thumb and likely to be picked off by predators or poachers.

So, the next time you see an albino animal, remember that it's nature's way of trolling us and giving us the middle finger. And if you're feeling lucky, well, you might as well buy a lottery ticket instead of wasting your time hoping to spot another of nature's rejects.