Austin Fire Department Takes the Chocolate Chaplain to Court Over His Willy Woke Factory

Austin, Texas — Judges, Juries, and Jerkoffs

Austin's most beloved firefighter, Andrew 'The Fox' Fox, is in hot water with the liberal elites after sharing his wise words on the latest transgender athlete scandal. Fox, a man of God and common sense, took to his personal blog to expose the madness of men competing against women in sports. In his now-infamous post, " Willy Woke and the Chocolate Factory," Fox dropped some serious truth bombs:

"What is coming out of Willy Woke and the Chocolate Factory is the lunacy of men competing with women as women. The transgender ideology is blatantly hijacking the platform of athletic sport under the guise of inclusivism."

You tell 'em, Fox! But of course, the woke mob couldn't handle the truth. An unknown number of snowflakes within the Fire Department, probably triggered by their non-binary participation trophies, complained about Fox's logical take.

Enter Fire Chief Joel Baker, who, instead of backing his brother in red, caved to the social justice warriors. Baker, along with his band of PC police, including the department's LGBT liaison, Xochitl 'Rainbow Warrior' Chafino, demanded an apology from Fox to the entire LGBT community.

Fox, a man of principle, stood his ground, offering a half-assed apology for those with paper-thin skin:

"While I stand by the academic logic and reason in my blogs, at no point is it my intention to offend the reader... For those who are offended, I apologize if my blogs make you feel offended."

Now, the city of Austin is trying to burn Fox at the stake, firing him from his volunteer chaplain position and hitting him with a lawsuit. Fox's legal team, the Alliance Defending Freedom, argued that their client was singled out for his views, which, unlike their client, are not even that offensive.

The city's defense attorney, probably a social justice warrior herself, claimed the firing was fair as Baker could "reasonably predict disruption." Disruption to what? The safe space these firefighters have created in the fire station?

The defense also low-blowed, arguing that Fox hasn't lost any benefits since his role was unpaid. Way to kick a man while he's down, liberals.

Now, we wait for Judge David Ezra to deliver the verdict. But no matter the outcome, Fox has already won the battle of common sense. God bless you, sir.