'Bee Cave Gives Cold Shoulder to Nighttime Door-Knockers. Neighbourhoods Now Safe from Creepy AF Goons...'

Bee Cave City Council Passes Ordinance to Ban Door-to-Door Solicitation After Dark,Requiring Permits for Daytime Canvassing

The Bee Cave City Council, in their infinite wisdom, has unanimously voted to ban door-to-door solicitations after the sun sets. Yes, apparently the council members have nothing better to do than worry about people knocking on doors at night. I mean, who does that anyway? Only people up to no good, that's who.

“We have a big problem with this in my neighborhood,” Mayor Kara King said. “It’s a lot. It’s excessive. It can even sometimes be several in one night.”

Several what, Mayor King? Several people knocking on your door offering to clean your gutters or sell you magazine subscriptions? The horror! How do you even sleep at night with all these solicitors bothering you?

Of course, the busybodies at the city council had to go and make things more complicated. They also passed an ordinance requiring solicitors to have a permit, which can be revoked if people complain. Because, you know, everyone loves a good snitch. And who doesn't love more red tape and bureaucracy?

These updates were desperately needed because of a rise in after-dark solicitors.

Desperately needed? Really, Carly Pearson? It's not like we're talking about a rise in murder or something actually important. It's door-to-door salespeople, for crying out loud.

But don't worry, religious groups and politicians are exempt from these rules. Because God forbid we infringe on their rights to annoy us and disrupt our peaceful evenings at home. It's not like anyone actually wants to talk to them either, but hey, they get a free pass.

So there you have it, folks. Starting September 1st, no more knocking on doors after dark in Bee Cave. The city council has spoken, and they've successfully solved yet another non-problem. Way to go, guys. You're really earning those taxpayer dollars.

Voters to Decide on Charter Amendments That No One Cares About

As if the solicitation issue wasn't enough, Bee Cave residents now have to deal with a bunch of proposed amendments to the city charter. Yawn.

• Proposition A: Giving the City Council the power to adjust city boundaries. Because they obviously need more control.
• Proposition B: Requiring both the council and voters to approve any pay increases for themselves and the mayor. Good luck getting that raise now, Your Highnesses.
• Proposition C: Authorizing certain positions to act in place of others. Because God forbid there be any confusion about who has the power to sign those all-important bonds and warrants.
• Proposition D: Clarifying obligations and provisions regarding budget adoption. In other words, legal mumbo jumbo that no one understands.
• Proposition E: Designating an official city paper and protecting the city from liability claims. Because we all know how dangerous those newspapers can be.
• Proposition F: Adjusting standards for citizen petitions and giving the City Council even more power to mess with the charter. Shocking, I know.
• Proposition G: Requiring voter approval for any changes to city-owned real estate. Because the city council might actually listen to the people on this one.

And there you have it. A bunch of amendments that will likely just give the city council more power and make things more complicated. But hey, that's democracy in action, right? Ryan Henry, the city attorney, wanted to remind everyone that the city council is already overpaid and that they will not be using city funds to promote these amendments. So there's that, I guess.