Perchlorate, a Rocket Fuel Chemical, Found Contaminating Food and Water, with Baby and Children's Food at Highest Risk, Study Finds

[Another Day, Another Chemical to Worry About](https://dtsc.ca.gov/perchlorate/#:~:text=What%20is%20Perchlorate%3F,fuel%20for% horsepower-and-missiles.)

Looks like there's a new chemical to add to the list of things that are slowly killing us, according to a recent study by Consumer Reports. This time, it's perchlorate, a chemical found in rocket fuel. Great, just what we need — our food and water contaminated with something that sounds like it should be powering SpaceX's latest horseshit jaunt into space.

Nature and Man Made: A Toxic Combination

Perchlorate is both naturally occurring and man-made, which basically means we're screwing up nature even more than usual. According to the Department of Toxic Substances Control, it's being found more often in groundwater, so even our water isn't safe from this crap.

James Rogers, Ph. D., Director of Fear Mongering—Sorry, Food Safety, We Mean

James Rogers, a so-called expert with way too many letters after his name, says this is a big problem. Rogers, a food and water microbiologist, probably with too much time on his hands, found that the food most contaminated with perchlorate was children's food. You know, the stuff we feed our kids every day: cereal and chicken nuggets. Thanks, Rogers, for ruining our peace of mind and our kids' lunch.

The Usual Suspects: A Menu of Contamination

The study, because of course there has to be a study, analyzed a bunch of food samples, and found the following foods to be the biggest culprits:

• Beef burritos: Because even Taco Tuesday isn't safe anymore.
• Chicken sandwiches: Cluck off with your perchlorate-filled fillets.
• French fries: Freedom fries, more like perchlorate-filled fries.
• Fried chicken: The South may rise again, but not if they keep eating this.
• Chicken nuggets: Yep, our kids' favorite food is contaminated. Thanks, Rogers, again.
• Steak tacos: Perchlorate-marinated steak? No thanks.
• Mac and cheese: The only thing worse than the boxed kind is the homemade kind, apparently.
• Rice and multigrain cereal: Perchlorate for breakfast, anyone?
• Whole milk yogurt: At least it's not the low-fat kind, am I right?

How Much is Too Much? The Usual Government Confusion

Here's the kicker: the food tested didn't have dangerous levels of perchlorate. But, because common sense is dead, Rogers and his cronies still want to freak everyone out by saying there's no strict definition of what's considered a "dangerous level."

"The Europeans have their own idea, the FDA will do their own thing, but who knows what that level is." - James Rogers, probably in a weird lab coat.

Thyroid Troubles: Because Our Bodies Aren't Stressed Enough

According to Rogers and his gang of health Nazis, consuming unsafe levels of perchlorate can affect your thyroid. Apparently, thyroid hormones affect metabolism, and a bad thyroid can lead to Type 2 Diabetes in adults and neurodevelopment issues in kids, resulting in a lowering of IQ. So, if your kid starts acting dumber than usual, blame perchlorate.

How to Avoid It: You Probably Can't, So Good Luck!

There's basically no way to avoid this crap. Whether you eat organic or not, you're still screwed. The only suggestion these "experts" have is to test your water and get a reverse osmosis filter if perchlorate is found. So, another expense to add to the list, thanks to these fear-mongering "researchers."

What's It Used For? Explosions and More!

Perchlorate is made in the good ol' US of A and used in solid fuel for rockets and missiles. So, at least we know where to point the finger when the world ends. It's also used in highway safety flares, fireworks, and matches, because why not add some explosiveness to an already dangerous situation?

What Now? Absolutely Nothing, That's What.

This is the first testing of perchlorate in food and water in over a decade, and surprise surprise, there's a lack of federal regulation. The EPA says they'll set limits by Nov. 21, 2025, but who's counting? Oh, right, our kids, whose IQs are probably dropping as we speak.

Contribution: Bianca Harris, AKA the Other Letter-Obsessed Person

Julia is a "trending reporter," whatever that means. You can find her on every social media platform known to man, because she clearly has nothing better to do.