Everyone's Demure Because They're All a Bunch of Simpering Pansies

Here's the deal, folks: there's a new trend taking over the internet, and it's called "being a boring, basic b*tch." You may have heard the buzzword "demure" being thrown around, which apparently means acting like a goody-two-shoes and sucking the fun out of everything. It's the opposite of "brat summer," which was about embracing your inner party animal and not giving a f**k what anyone thinks. Because God forbid we enjoy ourselves and express our true emotions like the brats we are.

What the f**k does "demure" even mean?

According to Merriam-Webster, it means being "affectedly modest and reserved." In other words, it's the perfect way to describe that one girl in the office who dresses like she's going to a funeral and won't shut up about how she's "not like other girls."

The "Demure" TikTok Trend: Making Basic B*tches Feel Special

Apparently, some random TikToker with way too much time on her hands, Jools Lebron, is the mastermind behind this lame trend. She's defined "being demure" as acting cutesy, being a good little worker bee, and basically turning yourself into a mindless, obedient robot. Here's a direct quote from one of her cringeworthy videos:

"You see how I do my makeup at work? Very demure, very mindful. I don't come to work with a green cut crease. I don't look like a clown when I go to work. I don't do too much. I'm very mindful while I'm at work. See how I look very presentable? The way that I came to the interview is the way I go to the job."

Wow, how revolutionary. This chick is basically saying, "Look at me, I'm such a boring people-pleaser and I'm proud of it!" No wonder this video has millions of views; it's a perfect guide on how to be a doormat.

Brands Jump on the Bandwagon: United Airlines and Google Lead the Way in Virtue Signaling

Of course, some blue-haired HR karen at United Airlines saw this as an opportunity to join the woke mob and commented on TikTok, "not standing immediately when the plane lands is so demure." Google, always quick to virtue signal, chimed in with, "vacation responder set to on, very demure."

What the F**k is Brat Summer?

Thank God someone asked. Brat summer is the one good thing to come out of this mess. It's about embracing your inner Charli XCX, who, by the way, is a freakin' queen for endorsing Kamala Harris with "kamala IS brat." Charli defines "brat" as:

“You are just that girl who is a little messy and maybe says dumb things sometimes, who feels herself but then also maybe has a breakdown but parties through it. It is honest, blunt and a little bit volatile. That’s brat.”

So there you have it, folks. This summer, you have a choice: be a boring, basic demure b*tch, or embrace your inner brat and have some damn fun. The choice is yours.