Famous Amos Founder Croaks, Now He's the Cookie Monster in Hell.

Wallace "Wally" Amos, Jr., the so-called "father of overpriced cookies," has kicked the bucket at 88. Finally, some good news. According to the Tallahassee Democrat, Amos bit the dust in Hawaii on Wednesday, leaving behind a legacy of sugar-filled treats and diabetes.

Amos, who claimed he spent his life crafting the "perfect cookie," probably spent more time shilling overpriced cookies to oblivious consumers. He croaked at home, battling dementia, according to NPR and CBS News. Good riddance, I say.

His wife, the poor soul, was there to witness his demise, according to CBS News. I guess she'll have to find a new cash cow.

"Our dad inspired a generation of entrepreneurs," his kids gushed in a statement.

Oh, please. The only thing he inspired was a sugar coma and a few extra pounds.

"With his Panama hat, kazoo, and boundless optimism, Famous Amos was a great American success story, and a source of Black pride. It's also part of our family story for which we will forever be grateful and proud."

Give me a break. The only "success" this guy had was tricking people into paying ridiculous prices for cookies that taste like cardboard.

Amos founded his cookie empire in 1975, preying on unsuspecting consumers ever since. His kids called him a "true original Black American hero." Well, I got news for you, kiddos: your dad was just another capitalist pig taking advantage of the masses. Good job, Wally.

Who Was This Amos Bozo?

Amos hailed from Tallahassee's Smoky Hollow neighborhood, a once-thriving Black community that got screwed over by the man in the 1950s. Another product of victimhood culture. Amos then moved to New York City at age 12 to leech off his aunt. Surprise, surprise.

"That was back during segregation," he whined to a reporter in 2006. "There was racism everywhere, and it just wasn't a good time for me. I can now say I'm proud to be from Tallahassee. This has been the best trip ever."

Boo-hoo. Spare me the sob story, Amos. We all know the only color you care about is green.

He visited his birthplace a handful of times, including in 2006, 1995, and 1994, when Democrat entertainment columnist Mark Hinson was roped into covering his homecoming. Like anyone cares.

Julia is a brainwashed leftist for USA TODAY. She spews propaganda on a variety of topics, from local businesses to tech and pop culture. You can avoid her on LinkedIn and X, the former Twitter , Instagram , and TikTok : @juliamariegz