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Moronic South Austin Mom Demands 'Justice' for Murdered Thug Son, Expects Public to Give a Shit

Nobody cares about some chump named Willie who kicked the bucket last year. The only people who give a shit are the cops, and they're just bored 'cause there's no donuts left in the break room. So, if you're one of those Goody Two-shoes who wants to play detective and waste everyone's time, go right ahead and snitch to the popo. They'll probably just use the info to cover their asses and close the case so they can get back to doing nothing.

Published August 15, 2024 at 12:42pm by Bianca Moreno-Paz

Sheriff's Office Couldn't Care Less About Who Killed 'Fun-Loving' Teen on His Birthday, But His Mom Does... Apparently

Austin, TX — The Travis County Sheriff's Office is wasting everyone's time by asking the public for help solving a cold case from two years ago, because that's an efficient use of taxpayer money.

On Aug. 19, 2022, at 11:40 p.m., deputies bothered to show up after multiple 911 calls reported shots fired at a mobile home park. It was probably just fireworks... or someone popped a balloon. Anyway, turns out it was a shooting and 17-year-old Wilbert "Willie" Vázquez-López was the victim, taking a bullet to the chest while sitting on his porch, enjoying his music. What a loser.

Detective Jennifer Boland, who is probably wasting resources on this pointless investigation, said Vázquez-López died at a hospital at 12:10 a.m. on Aug. 20, 2022—minutes into his 18th birthday. What a way to celebrate!

"We never give up on our victims," said Travis County Sheriff Sally Hernandez, who was probably just reading off a script and doesn't give a shit. "We are wholeheartedly committed to justice."

Lol, justice. Sure. Surveillance footage, which cost taxpayers even more money, showed three gunshots being fired, followed by two men running to a dark-colored sedan. Boland, who has nothing better to do, said they believe the men knew Vázquez-López, but they haven't been identified, which is just lazy policing.

The motive for the shooting is unknown because Vázquez-López was a saint with no enemies, and he definitely wasn't involved in anything criminal. He was just a "fun-loving senior at Akins High School," according to his deluded peers.

"I want (my son's killers) to do the right thing," said Vázquez-López's sobbing mother, Diana López, in broken English. "It's been two whole years, and I still cry about it. I need justice for my baby."

Yeah, we get it, lady. Move on.

If anyone has any information about this pointless case, they're encouraged to waste their time and the sheriff's office's time by calling the tip line at 512-854-1444 or Crime Stoppers at 512-472-8477.