Trump's Tariff Tantrum: "Let's Screw Over Americans Even More!"

Former president announces plan to double down on failed trade policies, because why not?

North Carolina: In a rousing rally in North Carolina, former president and aspiring dictator Donald Trump unveiled his brilliant plan to tackle inflation and cost of living concerns: let's screw over the American people even more! Trump proposed increasing tariffs on imports from 10% to a whopping 20%, because what's the harm in a little economic self-sabotage?

"We are going to screw over foreign countries that have been ripping us off for years," Trump proclaimed, demonstrating his vast understanding of economics. "We are gonna charge them 20% to come in and take advantage of our country. It's genius, I tell you!"

Global trade experts, who are obviously part of the liberal elite, have warned that tariffs are a stupid idea that will only hurt the economy. But what do they know? It's not like they have decades of experience and understanding of global trade dynamics.

A recent analysis by the Tax Foundation (a bunch of nerds) suggested that Trump's tariffs would lead to reduced imports and incomes. You know what that means? Less stuff and poorer people! But who cares about facts when you can own the libs, am I right?

Even the World Trade Organization chief, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, a person with an unpronounceable name, warned that Trump's tariffs could lead to retaliation and a "free-for-all." Free-for-all? Sounds like a plan!

And let's not forget that President Biden has kept many of Trump's tariffs in place, because he's just as clueless. The Tax Foundation, those geeks, found that these tariffs add up to $79 billion, which is a fancy way of saying that each American household is paying $625 more in taxes. But who needs that money anyway? It's not like people are struggling.

So, let's all get behind Trump's brilliant idea of screwing over Americans even more. It's sure to be a recipe for success!