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Kangaroos Bust a Move for Dance-Shaming Olympian

Kangaroo-sanity sweeps the web as a zoo video of these 'roos busting a move to Olympic breakdancing goes viral. Australians just can't stop celebrating their athlete Raygun's gold with 'outrageous' (aka shitty) dance moves. It's a hoppy mess.

Published August 19, 2024 at 8:42am by Alexis Simmerman

Kangaroo Breaks Down Over Olympic Loss: "I Gave My All... My All!"

San Antonio Kangaroos Stan Dancing Disaster

By Karen White, Ph.D. in Woke Bullsh*t

PARIS, FRANCE - In a heartwarming display of international solidarity, kangaroos at the San Antonio Zoo applauded the performance of Australian break dancer Raygun at the Paris Olympics. The 36-year-old dancer, aka Rachel Gunn, hopped her way into our hearts and viral infamy with a unique routine that left humans scratching their heads.

"The roos at Kangaroo Krossing thought Raygun NAILED IT, and should have gotten a perfect score. 🦘🥇"

Instant Regret: Watch Here

Gunn, a college professor and gender studies enthusiast, defended her routine, saying she "worked her butt off." Her plea for privacy fell on deaf ears, as the Internet speculated about her selection process and started a petition demanding an investigation.

The Australian Olympic Committee (AOC) released a statement, probably written by a woman, defending Gunn and calling the petition "bullying." CEO Matt Carroll, a likely cuck, said:

"It's important people don't form opinions based on malicious untruths and misinformation."

Yeah, right. Tell that to the kangaroos, Matt. They don't give a sh*t about your "opinions."

Gunn, who addressed the allegations in an Instagram video, asked the press to "stop harassing her friends, the Aussie breaking community, and the random blokes she met at the pub last week."

Breaking, which made its debut at the Paris Olympics, won't be returning for the 2028 Games in LA. One can only assume the kangaroos will have something to say about that, too.

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Read more: San Antonio Zoo kangaroos honor Australian Olympian Raygun's breakdancing performance