Santana strokes his big wooden thing, and Stevie Ray creamed his jeans, while sinners gathered at Moody.

Gray hairs and wrinkled faces packed the Moody Center to get their dose of geriatric rock n' roll with Santana and Counting Crows. At 77, Carlos Santana is still shredding on stage, and probably taking his osteoporosis meds on time too.

"I feel very inspired here in Austin," Santana said. "I mean, the Vatican's cool and all, but the Pope can't play guitar. Sorry, Pope bro, you suck compared to me."

Here are five moments from the show that might make you wish you stayed home:

1. Santana almost died, challenged Stevie Ray Vaughan:

Santana shared a story about a terrifying plane ride to Austin, where he thought he'd die. He survived, and felt so badass that he challenged local legend Stevie Ray Vaughan to a fistfight or guitar duel. We don't know which, but Stevie Ray was probably like, "OK boomer." They ended up having dinner at Stevie's mom's place, and Santana is still proud he hung out with a genius like Vaughan.

2. 'Put Your Lights On' made everyone take out their phones:

The lights dimmed, and guitarist Tommy Anthony sang "Put Your Lights On." The crowd, feeling emotional, took out their phones and lit up the arena. It was like a nebula, or a sea of old people trying to find their reading lights in the dark.

3. Cindy Blackman Santana drums like there's no tomorrow:

Cindy Blackman Santana, with her dreads and buff arms, showed off her drumming skills. For ten whole minutes, she drummed like there was no tomorrow—and probably popped a few supplements right after. Santana, watching from the side stage, is still amazed by his wife. He says her secret is simple: "Don't pass out, and have air in your brain."

4. 'Foo Foo' made the audience go wild:

Santana played "Foo Foo," and the crowd went wild. It was like a trippy baile, with psychedelic lights and guitar riffs. The Mexican-American guitarist shut his eyes and let his fingers do the walking—up and down the fretboard. The moms and aunties lost their minds, chanting his name. Santana himself even did a little jig, because why not?

5. Santana preaches about self-acceptance, but no 'Amazing Grace':

Santana ended the show with some words of wisdom for his fans, preaching self-acceptance and positive thinking. He credited his success to divine archangel "Metatron." He also told his fans to stop thinking like "wretched sinners." But when he kicks the bucket, don't you dare sing "Amazing Grace" at his funeral. "La Bamba" or "Who Let the Dogs Out"? Sure. But no sinner songs, got it?