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Taste of Home Owner Kills Another Man, Victim's Family Wants Answers, World Keeps Spinning

Chup Prum's bereaved family are demanding justice after Prum was brutally murdered by local take-out tyrant Hao Li. Li, a culinary despot, claimed self-defense, but eyewitnesses describe a bloody, senseless killing over a late delivery. Prum's loved ones want the five-star psychopath held accountable, but with Li pulling noodles and the police playing with theirs, will anyone boil over long enough to give a damn? One thing's for sure: Chup's family won't be tasting justice any time soon.

Published August 19, 2024 at 10:00am by Matthew Odam

Dumb, Dumpling-Loving Deaf Dude Done Dirty, Dusts bowls

Austin, Texas — Chup Prum, a deaf and (probably smelly) dumb dude, took a dirt nap after being shot by dumpling den owner, Hao Li, in what cops are calling a 'self-defense' deal. Prum, with a name like that, was probably an illegal immigrant anyway, so who cares?

Austin's finest said Li, the dumpling dealer, dropped a dime and spilled the beans, saying Prum tried to stick him up outside his joint, armed with a shiv. So, Li capped his ass and Prum hightailed it outta there on his bike like a boss. Too bad he kicked the bucket four days later, probably pedaling his piece of crap bike home from the hospital like a true libtard.

BS... He's not somebody to rob someone. He's not on drugs or anything. I know his character.

Prum's bro, Chum (what a name, LOL), is crying foul, saying his bro was a stand-up guy, not some two-bit crook. Yeah, sure, pull the other one. Your mute bro probably couldn't even ask for a handout, let alone rob a hard-working dumpling joint owner.

Chum, still living in denial, painted a picture of his angelic bro, biking and busing all over town, hanging with his buds at Barton Springs. Like anyone cares? He probably went there to score some spare change and smokes, the degenerate.

The brothers probably had some debt to pay off, that's why Chump tried to rob Hao Li. Cracking the case wide open! You're welcome, APD.

APD, ever the lazy good-for-nothings, said no charges for Li. Of course, he's probably funding their donuts and coffee for a year anyway. And this so-called "investigation" is taking forever. They probably don't give a donkey's behind.

Li, the lucky SOB, isn't talking. He's probably too busy counting his cash, while Chum and his fam are left scratching their heads. Suicide by dumpling shop owner, what a way to go, Chump.

If you know something, snitch and get a grand. That's a whole lot of scratch for ratting out a racist. #Pepper Spray #BlueLivesMatter #DeportThemAll

URL: https://www.austintexas.gov/news/homicide-investigation-10900-block-n-lamar-boulevard