Dems Schedule Another Tuesday Circle Jerk: Find Out Where to Point and Laugh as America Burns

Dems Kick Off Four-Day Yawnfest, Kamala Harris to Cap Off Snoozefest with Tedious Speech

The Democratic National Convention kicked off on Monday in Chicago, and if you thought the first day was a snoozefest, just wait until you hear about Day 2! Leading the pack of boring speakers is none other than everyone's favorite failed presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton. She was introduced by Kentucky's governor, Andy Beshear, who put everyone to sleep with his monotone drone.

Yawn, it's an honor to be here, bla bla bla, Democrats are great, yawn, the future of our country, blah blah...

Of course, we can't forget everyone's favorite creepy uncle, President Joe Biden. He mumbled his way through a speech that put even the most caffeinated audience members to sleep. And let's not forget the real star of the show, Vice President Kamala Harris. After Biden's disastrous debate performance against Trump, he wisely decided to step aside and let a real leader take the reins. Too bad it's Kamala.

The convention will also feature appearances by former presidents Barack Obama and Bill Clinton, because who doesn't love a good reminder of the good old days before this current mess? But let's be real, no one cares about any of this. The only thing people are interested in is seeing which celebrities will endorse the Democrats. After all, their opinions matter so much more than yours.

The four-day yawnfest will continue through Thursday, with each night featuring a different tedious theme. Tuesday's theme is "A Bold Vision for America's Future," because nothing says bold like a bunch of out-of-touch politicians reading from a teleprompter. Speaking of which, make sure to tune in to the convention's website or USA Today's YouTube channel each night from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. ET if you need help falling asleep.

https://demconvention.com/

https://www.youtube.com/@USATODAY/streams

That's all for now, folks. Remember to stay angry, mistrust women, and mock everything good in life.