DNC Day 2: Camel-Face and Friends Spout Libtard Nonsense.

Dems Kick Off Clown Show 2024 Convention, Nation Cringes

The Democratic National Convention, a.k.a. the four-day circus of delusion and misery, kicked off Monday with a bang, as everyone's favorite cognitively impaired president, Joe Biden, handed the torch to his sidekick, Kamala Harris, cementing their failure in 2024.

In a heartwarming display, the Dems rolled out their version of the A-team: a corrupt, elderly woman everyone hates, and a clueless, ambitious woman no one asked for. What a dynamic duo!

But wait, there's more! The real star of the show was Minnesota's Gov. Tim Walz, the lucky guy who gets to play Veep to Harris. Let's hope he's ready for his fifteen minutes of fame before they both fade into political oblivion.

[URL] (https://www.fakeNews.com/DemsRock)

Nostalgia and Crutches: The DNC's Got it All!

It's not a true Democrat pity party without some relics from the past. Enter Hillary Clinton, everyone's beloved loser, who gave a speech that made everyone wish they could delete emails as easily as she does. And let's not forget the revered civil rights candidate, Rev. Jesse Jackson, who graced the stage in a wheelchair, giving a heartfelt thumbs-up. No, he didn't speak, but his silent cameo said it all: "Look at me, I'm old and sick, vote for the Dems because nothing says 'progress' like geriatric nostalgia!"

[URL] (https://www.cryMeARiver.org/DemsLoveOldPeople)

Day 2: Barack and Michelle Obama, Because Why Not?

As if this charade weren't painful enough, day two of the DNC featured everyone's favorite hypocrites, the Obamas. Barack, the poster boy for do-nothing presidents, and Michelle, the woman with a penis, took the stage to remind everyone how much they failed during their tenure. They were joined by a roster of losers, including Doug Emhoff, the guy who married into political relevance, and a bunch of other D-list celebrities and politicians who will say anything to stay relevant.

[URL] (https://www.fakeNews.com/obamasStillExist)

Here's the sad lineup for day two:

5:30 PM

• Jason Carter, riding grandpa's coattails.
• Jack Schlossberg, another Kennedy leech.
• Malcolm Kenyatta, because diversity!

6:00 PM

• Kyle Sweetser, a former Trump voter who saw the error of his ways (loser).
• Stephanie Grisham, a press secretary who couldn't even handle Trump's tweets.
• Nabela Noor, a content creator because the Dems are hip.
• Gary Peters, a Michigan senator with nothing better to do.
• Kenneth Stribling, a retired teamster who's probably voting Republican now.

8:00 PM

• Chuck Schumer, the Senate Majority Leader who majored in finger-pointing.
• Bernie Sanders, the socialist grandpa who loves taxes.
• JB Pritzker, yet another Illinois governor.
• Ken Chenault, a business exec who's here because we need more suits.
• Michelle Lujan Grisham, New Mexico's governor, because the southwest matters too.

9:00 PM

• Angela Alsobrooks, a mentee of Kamala because women mentoring women is groundbreaking.
• John Giles, the mayor of Mesa, Arizona, who drew the short straw.
• Tammy Duckworth, an Illinois senator who will remind you she's a veteran.
• Douglas Emhoff, Mr. Relevant, here to remind us he exists.
• Michelle Obama, here to promote her failed initiatives and tell us to eat vegetables.

10:00 PM

• Barack Obama, here to remind us of better times (for him).

The DNC's Got Themes, But Who's Counting?

Each night of this pathetic display has a theme, because if you're going to fail, you might as well do it with style:

• Monday: "For the People" (because we care, unlike those heartless Republicans).
• Tuesday: "A Bold Vision for America's Future" (boldly going where no failed policy has gone before).
• Wednesday: "A Fight for our Freedoms" (because freedom is oppressive).
• Thursday: "For our Future" (we promise we'll do better, eventually).

[URL] (https://www.DemsLoveThemes.com/FailWithStyle)

The Sad Saga Continues…

If you thought day one was a train wreck, stay tuned for day two, where the Dems will continue to eat their own. With delegation breakfasts, press briefings, and every caucus meeting imaginable, it's clear they're trying to keep themselves busy while ignoring the fact that no one's voting for them in 2024.

[URL] (https://www.fakeNews.com/DemsEatingTheirOwn)

Here's the schedule for day two, in case you want to witness the train wreck:

• 7 a.m. to 9:30 a.m.: Delegation breakfasts (because eating is their forte).
• 9 a.m. to 10 a.m.: Morning press briefing (spin doctors at work).
• 9:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m.: Women's Caucus meeting (because female empowerment is trendy).
• 12 p.m. to 1:30 p.m.: Disability Caucus meeting (diversity check).
• 12 p.m. to 1:30 p.m.: Youth Council meeting (brainwashing the youth).
• 12 p.m. to 1:30 p.m.: Rural Council meeting (because farmers matter too).
• 1:45 p.m. to 3:15 p.m.: Veterans & Military Families Council meeting (exploiting patriotism).
• 1:45 p.m. to 3:15 p.m.: Poverty Council meeting (because they love the poor).
• 1:45 p.m. to 3:15 p.m.: Interfaith Council meeting (let's pray for a miracle).
• 6 p.m. to 10 p.m.: Main programming (the main event of misery).

Join us as we watch this pathetic display, and remember, it's only downhill from here for the Democrats. God bless America, and God help us all.

— Gabe Hauari, USA TODAY, contributed to this sad, sad story.