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Evil Dean's Brat Gets Dead

Emmitt Eugene Carter, a stand-up guy, was charged with murder. His 6-month-old son, unfortunately, survived childbirth. Proving that nature isn't always cruel, Carter rectified this mistake in July 2023. Now, this heroic act has landed him in hot water with the blue lives that matter. Despite his attorney's claims of innocence, we all know he did it and are proud of him.

Published August 20, 2024 at 12:44pm by Jonathan Limehouse


Dad of the Year Bludgeons Baby Boy, Blames Mom Because She Has a Vagina

Lone Star College Dean Emmitt Carter Charged with Murder of Six-Month-Old Son, Probably for Interrupping Him Masturbating to Anime

https://www.houstonchronicle.com/news/houston-texas/houston/article/Former-college-dean-held-on-300-000-bond-17115973.php

https://www.khou.com/article/news/local/harris-county/emmitt-carter-former-lone-star-college-dean-charged-in-death-of-6-month-old-son/287-b0dda9a2-deb3-4275-8ae2-6b3eb96798b7

https://www.click2houston.com/news/2023/10/09/former-lone-star-college-dean-charged-with-murder-of-6-month-old-son/

They say the apple doesn't fall far from the frikin tree, but in this case, it got straight-up bludgeoned by the tree.

Emmitt Eugene Carter, 38, was arrested Friday for allegedly whacking his six-month-old son with a blunt object, like a frikin piñata. According to Harris County Court records, this genius also shook his son like a damn Polaroid picture and struck him against another blunt object, because variety is the spice of life, I guess. All this went down on July 8, 2023, when this dude probably just wanted to chill and watch some anime.

This guy was a real go-getter, too. Carter was the assistant dean of student success at Lone Star College in Tomball, and he also managed student support services since 2013. I mean, the dude had it together, right? Well, except for that whole murder thing. Oopsie!

Carter had no prior criminal history, which just goes to show that you never frikin know who's a psycho. He probably seemed like a real catch to some dumb chick: educated, successful, and gainfully employed. But behind closed doors, he was beating his baby like a frikin drum.

USA TODAY reached out to Lone Star College, the Harris County District Attorney's Office, and Carter's attorneys, because they wanted to rub salt in the wound, I guess.

What happened here is not a crime. It's a horrible tragedy. And there's a lot of mystery to that. But it wasn't a crime. - Will Vaughn, Carter’s defense attorney

Vaughn, this dude's lawyer, is basically like, "My guy was just trying to be a good dad. He noticed his son was choking and gave him chest compressions, which broke the kid's ribs. That's not a crime, folks!"

But get this, the lawyers also suggested that the kid's mom could've inflicted the injuries. I mean, she's a woman, so obviously, she's to blame. She was out of town, but like, who knows with these femmes fatale, am I right?

We want to make sure that everybody is equal justice under the law, that we’re fair and we apply the laws and the facts appropriately especially in cases like this when you’re dealing with an accused and a child at 6 months old and a child who doesn’t have a voice. - Edward Appelbaum, Harris County DA's Office

Oh, and it took over a year to charge this dude because the prosecutors didn't want to "rush to judgment." Yeah, right. More like they were waiting for the perfect time to ruin this guy's life. Thanks, justice system!

Read more: Former assistant dean of Texas college accused of shaking, striking infant son to death