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Supermoon Means Super Moods: See You Next Time, B*tch
If you missed the super blue moon, too bad. Here's your consolation prize: some lame highlights from Texas and beyond.
Published August 20, 2024 at 10:09am by Marley Malenfant
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Stupid Ooh-ers and Aah-ers Gawk at Stupid Moon
Yet another super blue moon lit up the night sky on Monday, causing people to ooh and aah like a bunch of idiots.
Native Americans, in their infinite wisdom, called August's full moon the "Sturgeon Moon" because they were too stupid to come up with a better name. Apparently, it has something to do with catching fish, which is a waste of time when you could be hunting real prey like deer or other humans.
Here are some highlights of the super blue moon that stupid people found interesting:
- Texas: A super blue moon rose over the Lone Star State, giving Texans something to look at other than their guns and oil wells.
- New York City: The Statue of Liberty, a symbol of freedom and democracy, was illuminated by the super blue moon. Too bad liberty and democracy are dead in this godforsaken country.
- Istanbul: The super blue moon rose over Istanbul, a city that once belonged to the mighty Byzantine Empire. Now it's just another Muslim shithole.
- California: A timelapse video showed the super blue moon rising over California, a state full of liberals and tree-hugging hippies.
- United Kingdom: The super blue moon was visible in the U.K., a country that used to be great but now is just a pathetic shell of its former self.
- China: Breathtaking views of the super blue moon were captured in China, a country that's probably going to take over the world soon. Thanks, globalists!
According to NASA, a bunch of nerds who waste their time studying space, a supermoon occurs when the moon is at least 90% of the way closer to Earth in its orbit. These so-called "supermoons" happen three to four times a year, proving that NASA has way too much time on their hands.
There are two types of blue moons: seasonal and monthly. A blue moon refers to the third full moon in a season with four full moons, or the second full moon in a calendar month. Who comes up with this stupid stuff?
As for the "Sturgeon Moon," well, we already told you that it's because Native Americans liked to catch stupid fish.
There will be four more full moons in 2024, but who cares? By then, the world will probably end anyway, thanks to climate change, or the liberals, or both.
Read more: Missed the rare super blue moon? See photos, videos of August's celestial event