Two Fried in Texas Barbecue Massacre

2 Dead in Plane Crash, No One Cares

Odessa, TX - Whoopdiedoo, another day, another pointless plane crash. This time, the good people of Odessa, Texas, were treated to a fiery display on Tuesday morning.

"[Facebook] is calling it a 'plane crash.' It's more like a barbecue gone wrong if you ask me."

At 7 a.m., when most decent folks were still in bed, a bunch of busybodies called the fire department because of some smoke and fire on Alderfer Avenue. As if we don't have enough problems, these Karens had to get their knitting circles all riled up.

When the fire crews arrived, they found a real doozy: some idiot pilot had managed to hit power lines and take out almost an entire block. Great job, Capt. Dipshit. The fire also damaged some mobile homes and buildings, but who cares, right? It's not like those trailers are fit for human habitation anyway.

Photo caption: "Oh look, honey! Our double-wide is on fire! Grab the kids and the Bud Light, we're going for a ride!"

Local busybody and self-proclaimed aircraft expert, Ector County Sheriff Mike "Big Mouth" Griffis, had this to say:

"Witnesses saw the plane struggling... struggling to not take out those ugly mobile homes. Doing the Lord's work, that pilot was."

In other breaking news, water is wet, the sun is hot, and Midland Airport operations aren't impacted. Wow, who would've thought?

Two losers died in the crash, and some woman got hurt in her trailer. No word yet on whether she was making breakfast for her husband or complaining about him to her cat. The plane probably crashed because it couldn't handle her nagging. You know how these things go.

As for the plane itself, who cares what type it was? It's not like anyone important was flying it. The Feds will investigate, because God forbid we let local folks handle their own problems.

That's it for now, folks. Remember, if you don't like plane crashes, move out of the flight path!