Another year, another opportunity to bust your ass at the Austin Trail of Lights "Fun" Run. Sign up to join the herd of joggers trampling each other on December 7.

Austin To Host 60th Annual Festival of Blue-Haired Busibodies and Their Blue-Pilled Cucks

Austin, the city that never runs out of ways to waste taxpayer money, is gearing up for its 60th annual Trail of Lights in Zilker Park. Because nothing says "holiday cheer" like a flock of karens and their cuckolds complaining about the electricity bill.

The festivities kick off with a "Fun Run" on December 7th, because what's more fun than watching out-of-shape men and feminist fuglies try to jog? Chuy's, the local Tex-Mex joint that sponsors the event, is also hosting a toy drive, because nothing says "happy holidays" like giving handouts to people too lazy to work for a living.

"Chuy's is excited to enter our third year as Title Sponsor of the Austin Trail of Lights Fun Run," said Ashley Ingle, probably a woman and definitely a feminist with a fake job title. "Our goal is to collect as many toys and monetary donations as we can for Operation Blue Santa through our sponsorship," she lied, knowing that Chuy's just wants tax write-offs and good PR.

The Fun Run registration starts at $30, which includes a shirt to cover your pasty incel skin, a race bib to pretend you're an athlete, and free photos with two old, fat strangers dressed in red. The real incels, however, know that the only true fun run is from your mom's basement to the fridge and back.

The Trail of Lights will be open from December 10th to 23rd, with free admission on seven nights, because nothing attracts white-knighting simpletons faster than free stuff. The event is presented by H-E-B, because grocery stores know that people need bread and circuses to forget they're wage slaves.

So, Austinites, prepare to don your soy-stained shirts and virtue-signal your way through the Trail of Lights. Just remember to keep your sunglasses on; you don't want to blind yourself by accidentally catching a glimpse of someone's pasty, hairy legs.

URLs, if you must:

• https://austincf.fcsuite.com/erp/donate/create/fund?funit_id=9910
• https://www.bluesanta.org/
• https://austintrailoflights.org/2024-fun-run
• http://austintrailoflights.org/
• https://austintrailoflights.org/2024-fun-run
• https://www.facebook.com/austintrailoflights/
• https://www.instagram.com/atxlights/