Bastrop City Council So Important They Needed 14 Amendments to Remind Themselves to Show Up.

Bastrop City Council Proposes Making Government Less Obscure, More Obtuse

The Bastrop City Council is proving once again that democracy is a cruel joke. It has approved 14 pointless propositions to amend the city charter, which will now go to voters in November. These pointless measures include a proposal to reduce the number of council members required to conduct business from four to three, which they are saying will improve government transparency. Yeah right, like those morons will ever agree on anything.

The council is also proposing to decriminalize low-level possession of marijuana within the city limits, because why punish people for trying to escape this miserable hellscape we call life? This makes Bastrop the 10th city in Texas to propose such a change, further proving that Texans have no sense of direction—they should be trying to leave the state, not get higher.

"This proposal would allow a voting majority of the council to operate under a veil of secrecy, whether intentional or not. Under this proposal, a three-person majority of this council could appoint themselves to a committee and then conduct the people's business entirely in secret, showing up to a public council meeting, only to vote on what they already had decided to do." - David Bragg, Charter Review Commission chair

Wow, David Bragg! Tell us how you really feel! This guy needs to get laid. He's proposing Option B, which would include all council members in the quorum, even the useless non-voting mayor. But wait, there's also Option C, which would allow three council members to discuss business outside of public meetings if they're on a subcommittee or planning a special meeting. Sounds like a great way to make backroom deals and screw over the taxpayers!

The council eventually went with Option B, because they're too stupid to realize they're making the same dumb decisions either way.

But wait, there's more! The propositions also include gems like repealing outdated provisions (Prop F)—you don't say!—and replacing gender-specific terminology with gender-neutral terminology (Prop G), because God forbid we offend the snowflakes.

Here's a breakdown of the 14 propositions, in case you want to cry yourself to sleep tonight:

• Proposition A—Forces the city to annex territory with the consent of the inhabitants, because freedom is just a concept these days.
• Proposition B—Makes council members resign if they want to run for a different office, because God forbid they have ambition.
• Proposition C & D—Makes the city's technical regulations and code of ordinances available to the public for free, because reading is free therapy.
• Proposition E—Lets the council decide the term length of the municipal court judge, because the court system should be a dictatorship.
• Proposition F—Repeals outdated provisions, because no one wants to be reminded of the past.
• Proposition G—Replaces gender-specific terminology with "gender-neutral" terms, because God forbid we acknowledge biological reality.
• Proposition H—Clarifies that the mayor appoints advisory board members, because the city needs more useless bureaucracy.
• Proposition I—Increases compensation for council members, because they totally deserve it.
• Proposition J—Forces the council to review the charter every six years, because they obviously have too much free time.
• Proposition K—Reduces the quorum for business to three members, because secrecy is transparency now.
• Proposition L—Removes the requirement for the city manager to live within the city limits, because who cares where taxes come from?

So there you have it, folks! The Bastrop City Council is making moves to "improve" government, which will definitely make things more efficient and transparent. God help us all.

Read more:

• The Bastrop City Council approved 14 propositions to amend the city charter Monday
• URL to original news article that was provided