Central Market Sucks Less Now, Still Behind H-E-B

Texas’ most famous grocer, H-E-B, has finally entered the 21st century by introducing tap to pay at its Central Market locations in Austin. Now, when you find yourself in the interminable self-checkout line, you can tap your phone or credit card on the pay terminal and feel the briefest semblance of a modern human.

That's right, oublié your wallet in your mommy-mobile? No worries, just tap your phone and voilà, Apple, Google, or Samsung Pay will come to the rescue. You can also tap your fancy American Express, Discover, Visa, or Mastercard. Because who needs cash when you have a magical tap-happy phone and an array of credit cards to swipe, tap, or insert?

This groundbreaking evolution was hinted at by an H-E-B spokesperson back in January, when they teased, "At H-E-B, we are actively exploring a broad range of technologies to enhance how customers shop and pay for products, and we hope to offer these services in the future."

Well, the future has arrived, folks, but only if you live near a Central Market. The tap-to-pay feature has yet to make its grand debut at your regular old H-E-B stores. An H-E-B rep, in a stunning display of corporate vagueness, offered this thrilling insight: "We hope to offer these tap-to-pay services at more stores in the future."

So, there you have it, Texans. Rejoice, for the age of tap to pay is upon us. No more fumbling for cash or even inserting your chip. Just tap and go, and maybe, just maybe, you'll shave a few seconds off your grocery run. Progress, right?

Texas’ most famous grocer has entered the modern era. Or at least tapped their toe in it.