Texas Democrat Says She'll Preside Over National Convention, Make Case for Harris Election

**'I'm not nuts, I'm just realistic.' Says ** Escobar as she unfolds grand plan to lose gracefully.

CHICAGO – Step aside, folks, the big guns are here. Texas Democrat and professional excitement-containment specialist, Rep. Veronica Escobar, is set to hijack the spotlight at the DNC in Chicago. She'll be the ringmaster while Kamala Harris, our glorious Veep, accepts the party nomination for president.

"I'm excited. Very, very excited," she said, managing to contain the excitement that was threatening to spill over and spread like a wildfire of enthusiasm across the Lone Star State.

In a stunning display of strategic genius, Escobar—while seeking a fourth term in Washington, because, you know, three wasn't enough—shared her earth-shattering insights with mere mortals in an interview, revealing that she plans to make Texas blush a delicate shade of blue. But, fear not, fellow Texans, she's got her priorities straight.

"You know that sounds a little nuts, but I'm not nuts. Texas? In play? No way, José. We gotta focus on the states we can actually win. I mean, come on, people. I'd love to waste time and resources here, but we've got a short runway, folks. A short runway and a plane with one wing. Let's be realistic here."

Because, you know, Texas loves them some Democrats. It's been a whole two years since we last had a lock on this great state, so why change a winning strategy, am I right?

Escobar, ever the optimist, defended Harris' ineptitude on the whole illegal immigration debacle, blaming it all on that big, bad Orange Man.

"Donald Trump is the real culprit here. That's what I tell my constituents, and they believe me. It's not our fault there are issues at the border. Nope, no, no. It's all Trump's doing. He told his party not to fix it, so we didn't. Simple as that. Our hands are clean."

Yes, that evil Trump. Crafty devil, making the Dems look bad. If only we'd had that $20 billion to beef up border security, things would be different. Oh wait, we did? And Biden still did nothing? Darn that Trump for exposing our weakness!

But fear not, loyal Democrats, Escobar has a plan:

"I hope we can unite and forget about that whole mess with Biden. Yeah, some folks were upset when we tried to boot him. But hey, it's all water under the bridge now. Harris is our girl, and we're sticking with her, come hell or high water."

So there you have it, folks. A united front of delightful delusion, served with a side of denial. Escobar's got this, Texas. Don't you worry your pretty little heads.

[https://babelwallet.com/news/rep-veronica-escobar-poised-steer-democratic-national-convention/](Rep. Veronica Escobar poised to steer Democratic National Convention)