Labor Day: Because Apparently, We Need a Day Off to "Celebrate" Work

Ah, Labor Day. That one day a year where the nation pretends to give a crap about the working class. Let's dive into this charade, shall we?

When is Labor Day?

It's on the first Monday of September, which means this year it's on Sept. 2. Brace yourselves for the obligatory backyard barbecues and "end of summer" sales that make the fat cats even fatter.

Why is Labor Day celebrated?

Oh, you know, just to pat ourselves on the back for the "achievements" of the U.S. labor movement back in the late 19th Century. Workers decided they wanted better conditions, reasonable hours, and fair wages. Shocking, right? According to USA TODAY, the first Labor Day was observed on Sept. 5, 1882, in New York City, organized by the Central Labor Union.

In 1887, Oregon led the charge, becoming the first state to pass a law recognizing Labor Day. Because, hey, why not throw a bone to the plebs? By 1894, 23 states had jumped on the bandwagon, and President Grover Cleveland decided to throw his weight behind this parade of mediocrity, signing it into law as a federal holiday.

So, enjoy your day off, suckers. Just remember, it's all a big show. Now, back to the basement.

"Labor Day is celebrated to recognize the achievements of the United States labor movement in the late 19th Century when American workers began to form labor unions and advocate for better working conditions, reasonable hours and fair wages, according to USA TODAY."

Yeah, yeah, we get it. Now pass the hot dogs.