God’s Little Joke: Fourth Texas Megachurch Bigwig Bites the Dust

In a move that's as shocking as finding water in the desert, another bigwig from Gateway Church has been shown the door. This time, it's executive pastor Kemtal Glasgow who’s been canned over what the church calls a “moral issue.” No shocker there, right? You can just imagine elder Tra Willbanks sweating bullets as he posted on the church's YouTube page that they’re all “deeply concerned” about Glasgow’s family.

“We love his family, we love his wife and his kids and we want to come alongside them during this difficult time and help them find restoration and healing that they need as a family,” Willbanks said, likely patting himself on the back for sounding so compassionate.

But let’s not forget the real stars of this drama: the Morris family. Senior pastor Robert Morris stepped down a few months back after admitting some creepy "inappropriate sexual behavior" with a 12-year-old girl when he was 21. Because, you know, married men just can’t help themselves around young girls.

Oh, and his son James Morris and wife Bridgette also jumped ship shortly after. What a beautiful family portrait!

Glasgow’s Ouster: Nothing to See Here, Folks!

Glasgow’s info has vanished from Gateway’s site faster than a plate of BBQ at a Texas picnic. But thanks to the gods of the internet, we know he was a big deal over there.

In a statement to CBS News Texas, Gateway claimed they want all their staff to live with integrity. Who knew integrity was such a rare commodity in megachurches?

“It recently came to light that Kemtal Glasgow had a moral failure so we've asked him to step down as a pastor at Gateway and devote time to his marriage and family,” the church said, probably with a straight face. Seriously, who writes this stuff?

They also swore up and down that Glasgow’s “moral failure” had nothing to do with Robert Morris’ creepy past. Sure, Jan.

Pastor James Morris Resigned in July

Glasgow’s firing comes on the heels of James Morris’ resignation. The church actually convinced him to take a “temporary leave of absence” in June. Keeps the family drama going, eh?

On their Facebook page, the church wrote, “Pastor James Morris is a man of integrity,” conveniently forgetting the family skeletons. But hey, lawyers gotta eat too, so they advised the good pastor to take a break.

The Morris Allegations: A Tale as Old as Time

Robert Morris quit in June, days after 54-year-old Cindy Clemishire accused him of sexual abuse when she was 12. She shared her story with the Wartburg Watch. Apparently, Morris liked his girls young and easily intimidated.

She decided to come forward to encourage other victims to share their stories. Good luck, lady. The Morris family’s probably reading this from a beach somewhere, chuckling over their lifetime supply of holy hand sanitizer.

In a statement, Morris admitted to “kissing and petting.” How sweet, right? And of course, it wasn’t his fault. “It was wrong,” he said to local Dallas news station WFAA-TV.

Well, color me surprised. Another day, another megachurch scandal. Who could’ve seen this coming?