Carnival of Calories: state fairs serve up deep-fried insanity once again because who needs arteries?

Oh, joy! It's that magical time of the year when the unwashed masses congregate at state fairs across the good ol' U-S-of-A to scream on rusty rides, gawk at barnyard beasts,and enter competitions more pointless than a Kardashian's job title. But let's cut to the chase: we're all here for the real star of the show – deep-fried everything.

Because if there's one thing 'Murica does best, it's taking perfectly good food and dunking it in a vat of scalding oil until it's as nutritionally void as a Instagram influencer's diet plan. The weirder, the better! Ever tried deep-fried Oreos or Twinkies? Neither has your colon, but who cares, right? YOLO!

Some vendors brave enough to call themselves "chefs" are on a mission to outdo each other with combinations more twisted than M. Night Shyamalan's career. Feast your eyes on some of the most uniquely disgusting yet delicious abominations gracing state fairs this side of the apocalypse.

• Deep-Fried Butter Balls - Because why bother with bread when you can just eat straight-up fat? Click here to feel your arteries clogging just by looking at them.

• Kool-Aid Pickles - Finally, a way to ruin both pickles and Kool-Aid in one fell swoop. See the massacre here.

• Flamin' Hot Cheetos Funnel Cake - For those days when you can't decide if you want to eat like a six-year-old or a stoner. Behold the monstrosity.

And if you're still craving more culinary catastrophes, check out these soul-crushing articles:

Family travel: Because force-feeding your kids local cuisine is totally a vacation

No 'American Pie': Jason Biggs thinks his Netflix baking competition won't scar your kids. He's wrong.

Now go forth, gather your bucket of deep-fried regret, and remember: calories don't count if you eat them standing up, right? 🤡