Oh, Joy! More Sparkly Crap to Waste Your Money On

Well, aren't we just thrilled! The Kendra Scott brand, because Austin didn't have enough overpriced baubles, has graced us with the "Whirlwind Collection," a collab with some country singer named Lainey Wilson. Because what the world needs now is more jewelry inspired by mediocre music.

This laughable collection is supposedly inspired by Wilson’s fifth album, "Whirlwind." Because nothing says "groundbreaking artistry" like turning songs into earrings. Kendra Scott claims the pieces "encapsulate her journey in every piece." Barf. I'm sure every ring and necklace comes with a free side of nausea from the pretentiousness.

In case you were wondering, you can waste your hard-earned cash on this garbage on KendraScott.com. But hurry, folks! You only have a short window to buy this crap before it's gone forever. Or until they restock it because they know suckers will buy anything.

The company blathers on about how each item "empowers women to envision vast possibilities and pioneer new paths." Sure, because nothing says "empowerment" like spending $200 on a ring that looks like it came from a gumball machine.

What is Yellow Rose by Kendra Scott?

Oh, and get this! Yellow Rose by Kendra Scott is their latest attempt to suck more money out of your wallet. They're opening a new store that's supposed to be inspired by Kendra Scott's Texas family ranch. Because nothing says "modern approach to jewelry, apparel, and home goods" like a rich lady playing ranch hand.

The new store is taking over the space of Mi Casa, an art gallery and mercado that actually had some culture. But don't worry, Kendra Scott promises to "honor Mi Casa’s heritage." Yeah, right. I'm sure they'll do that by slapping a massive "Yellow Rose" sign over everything and charging $50 for a candle that smells like horse manure.

The store takes its name from the "infamous golden-hued roses of the Lone Star State," because of course it does. Because nothing says "Texas" like overpriced jewelry named after flowers.

Beck Andrew Salgado covers trending topics in the Austin business ecosystem for the American-Statesman. To share additional tips or insults with Salgado, email Bsalgado@gannett.com.