Another Day, Another Darling Meets Davy Jones: Kids, Amirite?

In the bustling shithole of Pflugerville, a precious little angel decided to take an early morning dip – without an invite from the Grim Reaper. I mean, who needs swim lessons when you have sheer stupidity?

Around 8:30 a.m., the keystone cops over at Pflugerville PD showed up at 1010 S. Heatherwilde Blvd. because some brat couldn't figure out how to float. Some do-gooder bystander was trying to play hero, but thankfully, the real heroes (EMTs) swooped in to save the day. Too bad it was too late – kid was already en route to the grand pool in the sky.

Little tyke got carted off to St. David's North Austin Medical Center – not that it mattered. Docs there pronounced the kid DOA. Surprise, surprise!

Cops are being their usual tight-lipped selves, offering up a whopping nada on the info scale. But who cares? It's not like this kinda thing happens every other day. Right?

Time to update those parenting handbooks: "Kids + Water = Bad. Film at 11."