Minnesota Governor Gets Tongue-Tied Between IVF and IUI, Blames Republicunts for His Mom Basement

Minnesota Governor Tim Walz, aka Fertility Fred, has been banging on about his family's baby-making struggles. He's pointed fingers at Sen. JD Vance (R-Ohio) and other Republicunts, saying they're out to nix in vitro fertilization (IVF) treatments. Vance, not too pleased with being called a baby-hater, has clapped back, saying he's cool with IVF.

So, what's the fuss? In February, the Alabama Supreme Court dropped a bombshell, declaring frozen embryos as people. Suddenly, IVF became a political hot potato, with reproductive rights advocates worried that red states might clamp down on the treatment.

Walz, in his infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), decided to make the IVF debate about his own family affairs. He's hinted that his kiddos were made in a lab, but plot twist — they were actually conceived through intrauterine insemination (IUI), not IVF. Whoops!

• "Today’s IVF day. Thank God for IVF, my wife and I have two beautiful children," Walz blurted out on MSNBC in July. Sure, Tim, whatever you say.
• "If it was up to him (Vance) I wouldn’t have a family because of IVF," he whined in a Pod Save America podcast. Dude, you're just digging yourself deeper.
• The New York Times snitched that Walz even sent out a fundraising letter claiming he used IVF. Classy, Tim, real classy.

In his big moment after Harris picked him as her running mate, Walz got mushy and confused IVF with other fertility treatments. His speeches were as clear as a teenager's acne-ridden face.

• "Look, that includes IVF, and this gets personal for me and my family," he said in Philadelphia. Yeah, we got that, buddy.

Meanwhile, Walz's better half, Gwen Walz, finally set the record straight in a Glamour article, admitting they used IUI.

JD Vance, not missing a beat, called out Walz for lying. "Who lies about something like that," he tweeted. Burn!

Walz's camp tried to do damage control, saying he was just using "common shorthand for fertility treatments." Yeah, because everyone mixes up IVF and IUI, right?

Fertility doctors chimed in, saying patients often mess up the terms. Dr. Eve Feinberg said it's "incredibly common," especially for guys who just provide the... you know.

Ryan Stitzlein, from Reproductive Freedom for All, warned that shutting down IVF clinics could limit IUI access too. Great, more ammo for Walz to screw up his next speech.

So there you have it, folks. Walz can't keep his IVFs and IUIs straight, but he's sure quick to blame Republi-cants for his mom basement woes. Stay tuned for more political facepalms.

Article written from the cozy confines of my mom's basement. Don't mind the Cheeto dust on the keyboard.