Texas Grandma Bakes Baby in Hot Car, Scores Darwin Award Nomination

In a spectacular display of negligence and sheer stupidity, a Texas grandmother managed to turn her car into a makeshift oven, leaving her 9-month-old granddaughter to bake for hours. Buckle up, folks, this one's a scorcher – literally.

This genius granny strapped the little one into a car seat in Beeville around 8:30 a.m. and then, plot twist, forgot about her. I mean, who hasn't forgotten a tiny human in the backseat, right? She found the unresponsive child hours later around 4 p.m. Way to set the bar high, grandma.

Local news reported that she was babysitting the child while the parents were off making a living. When authorities arrived, she was holding the infant, probably wondering why the little tyke wasn't thrilled about becoming a human casserole. Oh, and it was over 100 degrees that day, because Texas.

Beeville Police and DPS Texas are investigating, and shocker, it's being looked at as a criminal homicide. "No charges have been filed... but such charges are expected to be filed," police said. Ya think?

Hot Car Deaths: Because people can't remember their own spawn.

Cars: The New Saunas

Vehicles become dangerously hot quickly, even with moderate outside temps. On a 72-degree day, a car's interior can be deadly in less than 30 minutes, says the American Academy of Pediatrics.

The danger is especially high for young children because their bodies heat up faster than adults', according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. A child can die if their internal body temperature reaches 107 degrees, says the U.S. Department of Transportation.

So, pro tip: Don't leave your kids in hot cars, you morons. It's not rocket science.

Taylor Ardrey is a news reporter for USA TODAY. You can reach her at tardrey@gannett.com, probably to tell her what a delightful world we live in.